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A few days ago, it was reported that a Spanish bullfighter deserted the ring and was arrested for failing to fulfil his contract. If everyone who buggered off from work early was arrested, you imagine a nation that shuts down for an afternoon nap would be struggling, but I digress.
At least this bloke isn’t on their football team.
The Swiss excel on grass, the Spanish on clay. If Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal have taught us anything, it is this. Unfortunately the entire World Cup, bar some horrendous ground keeping, is played on grass. And this morning, Switzerland used football’s equivalent of the rolling maul to bang in the winner against the highly fancied Spanish.
I had picked Spain. Gallivanting around the office. Making sure everyone knew I was talking about phudbol. Talking up the passing efficiency of Xavi Hernandez. I have the draw written up on a giant whiteboard. I wrote “Spain” in giant red letters underneath my name as my pick. I read a book written by a European© on the Spanish game.
I was certain.
My selection was fairly obvious. Of course I failed to factor in the surface, or the Swiss vs Spanish thing. Or the fact that Spain, being beaten once in about 50 games, were quite obviously due for a loss. Or that Spain have become the World Cup’s equivalent of Collingwood. I figured the Swiss, like their cheese, would be full of holes. Conversely, like their Torta del Casar, the Spaniards would run well in the heat.
Wrong. As it turned out, the Swiss ran hard, and used the space created by Hernandez’s movement to counter.
In the end, it was a simple manoeuvre required to beat Spain. Simply defend like maniacs all day, kick the goal keeper in the face, do a massive somersault, send your second striker in to boot the ball in to the back of the remaining defender, then smash home the winner and watch your transfer fee inflate.
I stand by Spain, simply because I like the colour red and I also indulge in siestas. I paid good money for my book. I still think that they will get out of the group and then can make the run to the end.
I hope the Swiss have a nap in honour of their fallen opponent. They deserve it. I also hope our bullfighting friend watched the whole game. I assume he had to if he’s in a cell. If this continues he will not be the only one expecting an inquisition.
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