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Someone buy Ian Evatt a drink. The burly Blackpool defender surely needs one after a nightmare individual display condemned the Seasiders to join Birmingham City and the already relegated West Ham United in the Championship next season.
Evatt was at fault for Manchester United’s opening goal in Blackpool’s 4-2 defeat at Old Trafford overnight, before the veteran defender turned into his own net sixteen minutes from time to doom a spirited Blackpool fightback to redundancy.
Blackpool are joined in the second tier by the unloved Birmingham City, whose relegation was no doubt celebrated up the road in Wolverhampton, with Wolves surviving the drop by the skin of their teeth despite losing 3-2 at home to Blackburn Rovers.
Fighting for their own survival, Blackburn’s efforts were aided by a superb goal from Brett Emerton, who looks like he’ll be staying in Lancashire next season rather than returning to the A-League.
A 1-0 win away at beaten FA Cup finalists Stoke City meant Blackburn’s local rivals Wigan Athletic also stayed up, as another English Premier League campaign concluded with a breathless afternoon of “Survival Sunday” football.
The grounds were packed, the atmosphere was fraught with tension and the simultaneous kick-offs made for thrilling TV viewing, even for those whose teams weren’t directly involved in the relegation action.
But although Round 38 will go down as one of the most exciting of the Premier League season, I can’t see a similar relegation battle happening in Australia any time soon.
That’s because it will take years for Football Federation Australia to expand the A-League to the point that relegation and promotion becomes a viable option.
Even then, I can’t see the FFA offering a pathway for current state league clubs to enter the top flight, with the game’s governing body showing little enthusiasm for building bridges with “old soccer.”
So if A-League fans are ever to enjoy a relegation/promotion tussle of their own, it will almost certainly be one involving a raft of expansion clubs – a prospect which currently looks remote given the league’s precarious financial state.
A decade ago, I experienced a relegation dogfight first hand when I turned out with puzzling regularity on the terraces of the Südstadion to watch Fortuna Köln sink from the German second division into the third tier and eventual oblivion.
I was there on a sunny Thursday afternoon when a Michael Klinkert header condemned Germany’s longest-serving 2.Bundesliga side to the drop in front of around 10,000 fans, most of whom were supporting visitors Borussia Mönchengladbach.
As I trudged off into the fading Zollstock twilight, I wondered if Australian fans would ever experience the bitter disappointment of relegation for themselves.
Three months later I was back on the Südstadion terraces, flush with optimism and contemplating football’s strange fate with a bratwurst in one hand and a drink in the other – all part and parcel of the relegation/promotion process.
Fortuna never did make it back to their spiritual homeland of the 2.Bundesliga, but in the meantime we’ve come a long way in Australia, and our long-term goals should include a system of relegation and promotion for the A-League.
It’s not going to happen any time soon though, with consolidation the FFA’s main focus for the foreseeable future.
Which is a shame, because a relegation battle can be just as rewarding as any chase for a coveted piece of silverware, although I wouldn’t mention that to any Blackpool or Birmingham City fans over the next couple of days.
English football’s ups and downs – promotion and relegations
Premier League
Champions: Manchester United
Champions League places: Chelsea, Manchester City, Arsenal
Europa League place: Tottenham
Relegated: Birmingham, Blackpool, West Ham
Championship
Champions: QPR
Promoted: Norwich
Play-off final: Swansea v Reading (May 30)
Relegated: Scunthorpe, Sheffield United, Preston
League One
Champions: Brighton
Promoted: Southampton
Play-off final: Huddersfield v Peterborough (May 29)
Relegated: Swindon, Plymouth, Bristol Rovers, Dagenham and Redbridge
League Two
Champions: Chesterfield
Promoted: Bury, Wycombe
Play-off final: Stevenage v Torquay (May 28)
Relegated: Stockport, Lincoln