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A professional sports draft can represent much of what makes sports so popular in this day and age, but also why it is spiralling out of control.
The equalisation rules put in place by most sporting bodies mean that draft day provides hope for the future for beleaguered fans.
Essentially, equalisation leads to the worst teams from the previous season getting the better players from the draft and thus a more competitive league moving forward. This in turn brings in more fans and more money. Everybody wins.
However, with that hope and money comes a hype machine that means young men are placed under increasingly intensive scrutiny. This scrutiny far outweighs the broader significance of their trade and their age/maturity can mean they aren’t particularly well equipped to deal with it.
For these reasons, and many more, draft day is a unique drama. The build up to the draft allows fans to get excited about what might be.
There are so many tantalising questions. Who gets picked by who? Who is the best fit for who? Which guy will be a star? Which player will be a bust? Why are there an abnormal number of draftees with bad dress sense?
What could be better? Well, besides the sport itself that is.
Friday morning Australian time the NBA had its 2011 draft. I sat down to watch these intriguing hours of an old man reading out names he can hardly pronounce and kept a diary. This is my story…
PRE-DRAFT
This year’s draft is being held at the Prudential Center in New Jersey.
Pretty much everyone in the media considers the 2011 Draft the weakest draft in a number of years. Duke’s Kyrie Irving, who was born in Melbourne but hasn’t been back since he was two years old, is expected to be selected number one.
ESPN’s coverage starts with an obligatory montage about the significance of the day which is narrated by Taye Diggs. Fun Fact: I once went to Jimmy Kimmel Live in LA and Taye Diggs was a guest. Just thought you should know.
The montage kicks in: “You’ve worked your way to this moment of truth. You’re ready to face the judgement of power…” blah, blah, blah. Sounds more like a movie trailer. Which I suppose is the point.
The montage finishes, they pan through shots of the nervous players expected to be selected early before we see a shot of NBA Commissioner David Stern striding to the podium on stage to resounding boos. This is a tad unfair as he has done so much for the league.
Stern begins a stock standard introduction about the league’s season and the New Jersey crowd receives it with a mixture of muted claps, groans and more boos. Stern fires back with a retort of “It’s a good crowd”. I’m already pencilling this in as my highlight of the draft.
PICK 1 – CLEVELAND CAVALIERS
– Cleveland are on the clock. This is actually a pick that the Cavaliers got from the LA Clippers in a trade during the season. They also will be picking number four. They are expected to take Irving number one.
– There are lots of nervous shots of Irving drinking water. I can’t help but think “Don’t drink all that water dude. You don’t want to busting for the toilet when they call your name!”
– And the Cavs select Irving! Not too many shocks here. Personally, I preferred Derrick Williams for the Cavaliers but Irving was the consensus number one. He only played 11 games in College last season but is expected to be a starting calibre point guard. It’s a position that has become extremely important in the NBA.
– What this means for their two existing point guards, Baron Davis and Ramon Sessions, who knows? Who cares? This is Irving’s day and the kid looks stoked.
– Some impressive highlights of Kyrie playing for Duke follow.
– Irving is interviewed. He’s holding in the need to go to the toilet quite well. No shout out to Melbourne. Lowlight of the night.
PICK 2 – MINNESOTA TIMBERWOLVES
– The Timberwolves are expected to take Derrick Williams, a scoring small forward from Arizona. However, they do have a history of making picks that make absolutely no sense. Plus they already have two half decent small forwards in Michael Beasley and Anthony Randolph. There is some talk that they may make the pick in order to trade it.
– Damn! The T-wolves actually did what everyone expected them to do and select Williams. Where is the fun in that?
– Williams hugs all of his family/entourage. He doesn’t seem quite as excited as Irving.
– Williams is my favourite player in the draft. Though that may be because he is the one I have seen the most of. This kid can really light it up. He just needs to learn how to play defence. Which is easier said than done.
PICK 3 – UTAH JAZZ
– Lots of pressure on Utah to take Jimmer Freddette, a shooting guard from BYU, in this draft. Utah is a predominantly mormon state and BYU is a mormon college in Utah. If he went there he would be bigger than God. Which is saying something.
– Jimmer is a flat out shooter but not expected to go this high. They also have pick 12 so will probably hope that Fredette will still be on the board by that time.
– The Jazz select Enes Kanter, a centre from Turkey. Not much is known about Kanter.
– Kanter was declared ineligible for college last season as he had played professionally in Europe and has barely played any competitive games in the last two years.
– The usher guiding him to the stage is half of his size. She looks Eastern European though so it may be his mum.
– The coverage mentions that he said he wants to be a WWE wrestler when he retires from basketball. I’m going to make it make mission to make up a good wrestling nickname for him. Let’s see, maybe “The Big Turkey”?…. I know, terrible. I’ll need to work on it.
– Good pick for Utah. He has size and many pundits believe he is the most talented player in the draft. They already have a Turkish big man, Mehmet Okur, who can help mentor him.
PICK 4 – CLEVELAND CAVALIERS
– With their second pick of the draft already, the Cavs select forward Tristan Thompson from Texas. Bit of a shock for him to go this high.
– Thompson’s mum wins the “Most Excited Family Member of the Night” award.
– With selecting Irving number one it seems Cleveland have decided to select Thompson for his defence and rebounding.
PICK 5 – TORONTO RAPTORS
– The Raptors are now expected to take Brandon Knight, a point guard from Kentucky, who would be a great fit for them.
– Toronto surprisingly takes Jonas Valanciunas (prounounced Val-en-chew-nus), a centre from Lithuania. This is a one out of left field.
– The first reason that this doesn’t make sense is that choosing international players has burnt the Raptors previously.
– Secondly, Valanciunas has a contract with his current club in Lithuania that will need to be bought out for him to play. Mobsters own Jonas’ current club. Don’t rule out a horse’s head being left in someone’s bed during negotiations.
– Valanciunas is interviewed and he can barely speak English. It’s mentioned that he has previously said his game is most similar to that of Chris Bosh. Every Raptors fan just shot themselves in the head.
PICK 6 – WASHINGTON WIZARDS
– The Wizards select Jan Vesely, a forward from the Czech Republic.
– Vesely wins the “Hottest Girlfriend” award.
– Athletic small forward type. It seems the kid can seriously dunk. If the Wizards play up-tempo he could be fun to watch.
PICK 7 – SACRAMENTO KINGS
– There has been a trade between the Kings, Charlotte and Milwaukee. The Kings are apparently picking for the Charlotte Bobcats
– The selection is Bismack Biyombo, a power forward from the Congo.
– “Coolest Name” award.
– Another shock to go this high. Lot’s of man-kissing with his entourage. Everybody loves a good man-kiss.
– Gun defensive player. Can’t play offense. That’s how weak this draft is. The number seven pick can’t shoot the ball.
– Apparently Biyombo impressed the Charlotte owner, some guy named Michael Jordan, in his workout. Then again, Michael Jordan liked Kwame Brown.
PICK 8 – DETROIT PISTONS
– The Pistons select Kentucky’s Brandon Knight. A point guard.
– Knight was expected to go higher. You can tell there is disappointment in his face and that he thought he was going to as well.
– He mentions that he didn’t even have a workout with the Pistons, which indicated that even they couldn’t believe he was still on the board at eight.
– Solid player from a good basketball school.
PICK 9 – CHARLOTTE BOBCATS
– The selection is Kemba Walker. A point guard from the University of Connecticut who won a national championship and provided plenty of clutch moments along the way.
– Good scorer but a bit of a volume shooter and not a true point guard.
– Due to the trade Charlotte now have come away with picks seven and nine. What have we learned? That Michael Jordan is smarter than we think… I think.
PICK 10 – MILWAUKEE BUCKS
– Due to three-way trade the Bucks are picking for Sacramento.
– And they select Jimmer Fredette! The whole state of Utah just started rioting.
– Great scorer. Can’t defend. Could Jimmer-mania save the Kings?
From here the draft starts to drift into routine and admittedly some of the novelty wears off.
What did we come away with? Well, who knows until they start playing? The draft raises just as many questions as it answers.
As they say, the proof is in the pudding. Unfortunately though, the impending lockout means that there may not be any play for a while.
In the meantime at least the fans of the teams involved can get excited of what might be. Which is exactly the same feeling as they came in with.
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