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The once every four-year rugby festival and celebration of everything rugby is well underway. For most of us, this entails off-field tales. So now for a bit of fun!
And, with not much to enjoy about the last weekend’s rugby if you are a Wallabies fan, here is a pick-me-up for everyone. Make sure to add your own jokes and stories so that we can all have a laugh.
1. A team was going through a very tough, mid season period. Injuries abounded. One paranoid coach said to his team, “What ever you do, don’t go to the physio. The last bloke that did went in with a one week hammie injury and came out with a season ending groin injury.” (True Story)
2. An innovative Director of Coaching, aware of the club’s poor lineout performance, diagnosed the problem as advised every team in the club of his solution as follows:
“Hooker takes the ball, makes a call, any call, the more unusual the better, and then throws it to 4. At the next lineout, make up another call, any call, again the more complicated and different the better and then throw it to 4.”
When implemented on game day, the opposition lineout forwards didn’t work out that every throw was going to 4 until the last 10 minutes of the game. Problem solved. (True Story)
4. An Australian professional rugby player, a forward, was bent over, hands on knees, sucking in the big ones during a fitness session on one of the beautiful beaches in South Africa. He turned his head to the player next to him, also bent over, and gasped:
“This altitude training is a killer!!”
5. When asked about the difference between forwards and backs, one knowledgeable rugby mother said “Who would want to push the piano when you could play it!!”
6. One Saturday morning, at Boronia Park in Hunters Hill, a Hunters Hill Under 8 player has just dashed through a hole in the defence, as a defender’s thrusting extremity in the form of a finger nail cut open his neck
The seven year old attacker, with the humour of an adult, called back, “It is just a mere flesh wound!” and continued to the try line for another five pointer. (True Story)
7. In 2000, at our 25 year school reunion, POD, a school mate, paid $80 for a $10 rugby ball. The auctioneer saw him coming and added $20 for fun. The winning bidder then asked that the ball be given to his close mate, J.D. What was this all about?
POD explained that in 1974, and in the Joeys Under 16C’s, the pair were second rowers. POD, a ball playing, goal kicking second rower dashed through towards the open try line for his fourt try. J.D., with an enormous effort to get his big frame up to speed, loomed up outside POD and shouted “POD, give me the ball. Let me score a try!”
POD ignored his friend’s beseeching and slid in for number four. 25 years later, the rugby ball was to say sorry! (True Story)
8. Sudden death semi final, 1978, second grade Colts Randwick vs Manly, at Concord Oval. The score was 4-3 to Randwick and there were three minutes before full time. The Randwick captain was carried off injured, and the vice captain, the five-eight, takes the reins. He calls the team in close, and says “This is ours to win. No stupid penalties. No stupid penalties.”
The referee called “time on”, set the lineout 40 metres out from the Randwick line, and then penalised the Randwick five-eight for being inside the 10 metres. Manly slotted the goal, 6-4, won the game and the rest is history. (True Story)
Now it is your turn. Make sure to add your own jokes and stories so that we can all have a laugh.
Join The Roar rugby editor Christy Doran, former Wallaby Matt Toomua and a cast of regular and special guests as they look at the biggest issues in the game on The Roar Rugby Podcast. If you’re looking for great odds on the next game check out Aussie bookmaker PlayUp. Chances are you’re about to lose. Set a deposit limit.