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Australian coach Robbie Deans answers questions at a press conference follow their Rugby World Cup loss to Ireland at Eden Park(AP Photo/Ross Land)
Martin Johnson and Robbie Deans have often cut very different figures in the world of rugby with Johnson’s playing career outshining that of Deans, yet it is the New Zealander who has a far superior coaching record.
That’s not so difficult, given England handed Johnson the job when he had no prior experience, but at times, the coaches find themselves in similiar positions.
– Both are managing former Rugby World Cup winners and their teams have each featured in three Rugby World Cup finals (although the Wallabies have the edge in finals wins).
– Both are taking teams into this year’s Rugby World Cup as winners of their respective regional competitions, the Six Nations and Tri Nations.
– Both suffered a heavy loss away from home during those tournament wins.
– Both have lost a key prop. Benn Robinson didn’t make the squad, while Andrew Sheridan left the tournament after one game.
– Both have encountered off-field incidents. Deans had O’Connor’s hangover, while Johnson got dwarfgate.
– Both have had players cited for use of the knee, Cooper escaping censure, Lawes picking up a two match ban.
– Both have seen their teams overwhelmed by a rampant Irish side this year.
– Both coaches resolutely stood by their long-term team captains before suddenly switching horses. Injury kept Steve Borthwick out of England’s tour of Australia in 2010 and Johnson never selected him again. Deans backed Elsom before making a late change to Horwill.
– Both named squads relatively short on caps, leading many to say they will be better contenders in four years time.
– Both have caused their team’s supporters to tear their hair out. Johnson seemed to have hit on a back line to provide a potent attacking threat, and more fluid game, only for his team to sputter. Deans seemed to have found a competitive pack with mongrel, only to see some old problems resurfacing.
And of course, the clincher:
– Both have Kiwi wives.
Kay Johnson and Penny Deans are patently sleeper cells, instantly activated when their husbands took the reins of All Black challengers for the tournament in the Land of the Long White Cloud.
Penny ensured her husband built his team’s campaign around New Zealand-born Quade Cooper.
Kay’s plans suffered a setback when Kiwi Riki Flutey missed out on selection but her husband was helpless when she pressed the claims of fellow-countrymen Shontayne Hape and Dylan Hartley.
Kay was surely also instrumental in unearthing Thomas Waldrom’s English grandmother, and mesmerising her husband into including a third Kiwi in his squad.
On Penny Deans’ instructions, Quade Cooper has managed to turn the New Zealand crowd into a hostile force at every Wallaby match.
Fearful of the undoubted threat Kurtley Beale would present to anyone, Cooper also contrived to get himself placed at full back in defence, where he can blunt any attacking moves and throw passes to the opposition if necessary.
Kay Johnson ordered Hartley and Hape to play poorly but they did this so well, both are now out of contention for the starting XV.
Hape tried to rectify this situation with a couple of quick tries against Romania but is in danger of blowing his cover. Hartley has promised to atone by drawing a yellow card should he take the field.
When Thomas Waldrom arrived in New Zealand, he looked very bulky, which suggests he took Kay’s advice to conceal a couple of dwarves on his person to disrupt English preparations.
One of them will likely be placed underneath Nick Easter’s mattress if there are any signs the number eight is recovering from his back problems.
It should come as no surprise that Martin Johnson and Robbie Deans are leading their teams down parallel paths with these two women pulling the strings on behalf of their countrymen.
Join The Roar rugby editor Christy Doran, former Wallaby Matt Toomua and a cast of regular and special guests as they look at the biggest issues in the game on The Roar Rugby Podcast. If you’re looking for great odds on the next game check out Aussie bookmaker PlayUp. Chances are you’re about to lose. Set a deposit limit.