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The International Rubbish Board get it wrong again

Expert
25th October, 2011
167
4573 Reads
New Zealand's Piri Weepu (centre) stands as he leads the Haka before the start of the match. AAP Photos

New Zealand's Piri Weepu (centre) stands as he leads the Haka before the start of the match. AAP Photos

Former Italian coach Nick Mallett summed up the International Rugby Board succinctly at a packed corporate luncheon in Auckland yesterday: “They couldn’t organise a piss-up in a brewery.”

Brilliant Nick. Damn it. I wish I’d thought of that line.

Mallett was referring to the IRB fining France $15,000 for advancing on the All Blacks’ pre-match haka.

The IRB is so out-of-touch with not only the state of the sport, the standard of referees, and what the long-suffering rugby fans want to see, the fine came as no surprise.

In fact, it was par for their pathetic course.

The IRB argument? It was confrontational to the All Blacks; not showing respect to their opponents.

What utter bollocks.

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For starters, there’s nothing more confrontational than the haka. That’s exactly what it’s supposed to be, and always will be for as long as the men-in-black play.

It’s cemented in rugby folklore, and long may it survive.

But the IRB want opponents to stand there like stuffed dummies until the haka is completed. How rivetting of the governing body. What great PR for the code.

France’s advancing arrow-head formation was their silent way of accepting the All Black challenge, and the packed house loved every second of it.

It set the scene for what was the closest and most fiercely contested of the seven RWC finals to date.

But the kill-joys based in Dublin – the International Rubbish Board – who meet only twice a year, were in “fine them” mode.

Laughable.

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On a serious note, what did the IRB do about All Black skipper Richie McCaw’s claim he was eye-gouged by his opposite number Thierry Dusautoir?

Nothing, absolutely nothing.

Less than 24 hours later, the IRB named Dusautoir as the International Player-of-the-Year, beating Wallabies David Pocock and Will Genia, and All Blacks Jerome Kaino, Piri Weepu, and Ma’a Nonu, for the honour.

Ask the average rugby fan how they rated the French captain on the world stage over the last 12 month, and he’d finish sixth in the six-man race.

Either Kaino or Pocock would have been popular picks, with Pocock constantly outstanding in a poorly-performed pack.

Which begs the question: was the selection of Dusautoir the IRB’s way of thanking France for making the decider so memorable?

Who knows.

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What we do know is the IRB is a toothless organisation, not worthy of the responsibility of promoting the game they play in heaven.

It’s well worth repeating: “They couldn’t organise a piss-up in a brewery”.

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