The one thing that all the recruits from the AFL national draft have in common, besides hair straighteners and a daunting vocabulary of football jargon, is a pathological desire to make it as an elite footballer.
Like barn owls, their big eyes and wide open faces cry out: “Aren’t we cute and cuddly?”
But like their carnivorous avian counterparts some of these ‘kids’ can dismember, or swallow whole, anyone – an opposition player, a teammate competing for the same position – who gets in the way of them pursuing a successful AFL career.
When the last selection was announced on Thursday night, the destruction of 1500 other boys’ dreams of playing AFL was made complete.
It also prompted sad reflections on lost opportunities: “He could have been anything, he could have been the best out of the lot of them”, lamented Geelong champion Cameron Mooney on his former teammate Nathan Ablett, who failed to be selected.
“But he just did not want to put in the work. With respect he is the biggest waste of talent I have ever seen,” said Mooney.
As if deciding not to fulfill one’s potential and forever regretting it isn’t bad enough for Ablett, Mooney put an extra dagger into his heart with: “But maybe now he is 25, 26 and in the outside world it is very hard to get good money and enjoy life.”
Suns coach Guy McKenna believed Ablett was too slow for the modern game and Alastair Clarkson this week said he wouldn’t be resurrecting Brendan Fevola’s career because he believed power forwards were a thing of the past.
It’s interesting that the most accomplished of goal kickers is deemed to be obsolete while the set shot remains the most elusive skill to master in the game.
Long gone are the days of zoning, when a player’s club was predetermined. The question wasn’t ‘where’ but only ‘if’ you would make it.
Prospective recruits trained separately and began a month earlier than the established squad.
Like a sped-up demonstration of the evolutionary process each session saw fewer and fewer participants (the extinctions taking place behind closed doors, or via the telephone) until all that remained were a gifted few.
And throughout the process were the mixed emotions of fear, exhilaration, and the sort of guilt felt by Stephen Fry who “acknowledges that he is more aware than ever that a price has been paid by some animal, somewhere, that allows him to be a ‘creature of the modern world’ and all that goes with it.”
The kids of the draft era have it far tougher. Some of those “lucky” to be invited to the draft camp, or combine as it is now called, have already pushed their immature bodies to the limit.
GWS recruit Devon Smith had only just recovered from hip surgery before completing this year’s combine and Chris Judd missed the 2001 camp because of a shoulder reconstruction.
The new game is highly structured and involves more running which requires younger bodies, but more mature minds.
The combine is an extreme mental and physical examination. Besides the usual athletic testing there are the invasive medical checks described by journalist Emma Quayle in her book The Draft as: “covering everything from heart, chest, nose, throat and ear to a full musculoskeletal examination of their spine, hips, shoulders and feet, among other body parts”.
As if that isn’t enough the happy campers or combiners are then forced to complete a personality profiling test, followed by a nerve-wracking interview with a coach – usually a grumpy ex defender – asking them what they would do if a tagger got in their face.
This alien Caucasian cauldron has often proven to be a stumbling block for indigenous players. Waylen Manson, a tall skillful whiz kid from the Kimberley region capable of taking marks while standing on the heads of his opponents, was crying after only the first day of the combine.
Unfortunately he didn’t gain selection. His comment : “Sometimes I can’t be bothered playing and training. Sometimes I want to quit”, probably didn’t help his cause, or the newspaper headline : “Waylen Manson is a freakish talent who may struggle to adjust to city life, writes Jay Clark”. Gee thanks Jay.
Sometimes a dreadful performance doesn’t harm your chances at all. Self confessed lazy bum Cyril Rioli was`eagerly snapped up by Hawthorn in the 2007 draft despite replying to a coach’s question during the camp with: “Sorry I’m too tired to talk”.
Now, what of the fate of the 88 players barely two days into their AFL careers? Not having seen any of them play it’s difficult to identify those who are going to be special from looks alone.
Certainly if hairstyles are anything to go by there are no stand-outs: all are adorned with what my hairdresser refers to as the “layered shag”.
Some – like the no.1 pick Jonathon Patton who has a thickness in the neck and shoulders, and hard looking eyes – are closer to manhood than others The important question is: does playing against less developed players weaken you psychologically?
I had a friend, a boy-man of 15, who dominated games of his age group and was subsequently recruited by Richmond.
Although undoubtedly having the talent to succeed at the top level, he suddenly came up against players of equivalent size, and who had more experience and a greater ruthlessness.
Not being able to dominate as he once had affected his self-confidence, and he failed to step-up.
History tells us that most of the class of 2011 will not be playing in four years time. Many will never play a senior game and will forever be referred to as draft ‘bloopers’.
The reasons for ‘failure’ are numerous. The most obvious is chronic injuries and the inability to complete a pre-season – the death knell for a midfielder. Some simply don’t fit into the structure of the club.
Others prove to be not good enough; the edge they showed as teenagers was merely precocious talent.
But many truly talented players don’t make it either; because the most telling obstacle to success is not wanting it enough.
One of the greatest ever players and coaches, Leigh Matthews, knew that. He would ask young players just one question: “Do you want to play AFL football?”.
All of Thursday’s recruits would have immediately answered “Yes!”
Over the next two years some will change that to a “No”.
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