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I remember photographs of Australian opener Colin McDonald after he had faced Wes Hall and Charlie Griffiths. The left side of his body was caked with bruises from his hip to his shoulders.
That was life in the West Indian Colosseum of Cricket (nice phrase that – someone from marketing could get some mileage out of it) in the 60s, if you carried a bat.
The irony was that nobody else was as ferocious as those two, but they were often on the losing team.
Fast forward to Lillee and Thompson, Khan and Akram and about a dozen fast bowlers from the West Indies in the 70s, 80s and 90s. I won’t name them – you’re likely to have a panic attack!
Every team they played died with sword in hand. They might have had a chance with real swords. Might have! There was not a batsman in the world in the 70s, 80s and 90s who was not afraid of those 16 quicks. And fear does funny things to people with an innocuous weapon in their hands. Unless of course you want to use it on a bowler’s kneecap as he’s in his delivery stride. But that’s not recommended if you want to avoid World War III.
Have you ever been hit with that little red five-ounce spheroid? Not pleasant. I copped one in the mouth as an eleven year old. The plate and the three false teeth on it are an everlasting reminder of how hard they can be.
Can there be any more fear-inspiring sight than Thommo charging at you, pitching on a length and the ball hitting you in the face before you can even get your hands up?
Do not think because you are watching from the safety of the Colosseum fence or on the wide screen that you are safe. When maniacal quicks are running loose on a cricket field, you should be afraid.
It sounds like something out of The Shining, doesn’t it?
Well let me ask a question to the likes of Mark Nicholas.
How would it have been if you were facing any of those 16 fast bowlers on the Melbourne, Sydney and Perth tracks served up in the last month?
Back up the ambulances, quick.
So please, enough of this lambasting of the Indian batsmen. Get a bat in your hands and go down to the nets and face someone like Brett Lee or James Pattinson and see how you get on. Not for the uninitiated.
I think the ICC and cricketing nations around the world have been sent a message.
Juice up your wickets, pick four pace bowlers who can get ‘em up there at 140 kph and watch various substances hit the fan. The War of the Willow versus Leather. Not very subtle, but very effective at getting Test cricket itself juiced up.
And maybe you could do the same with 50-over cricket to get the numbers and the interest back to where it should be.
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