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A new Super Rugby season has started and once again I find myself questioning why I support the Hurricanes: the greatest team never to win a title.
In the offseason, coach Mark Hammett allowed the other New Zealand Conference teams to invade, raping and pillaging our team in such a way that even ancient Vikings would have said: “Wow, that was brutal.”
For those of you who aren’t aware, the Hurricanes decided to “trade” the following players: Aaron Cruden, Hosea Gear, Ma’a Nonu and Piri Weepu.
The term trade is defined as “the act or process of buying, selling or exchanging commodities.” We didn’t trade, we simply gifted these players to our biggest rivals! It was at this point I realised that Super Rugby has one vital flaw: a complete lack of a fair salary cap, trade market or draft system.
Come with me on a hypothetical and far-fetched journey as I implement an American style salary cap, trade and draft system.
The lack of a salary cap system results in crazy situations for the New Zealand and South African teams. The Crusaders have two All Black front rowers, one of the Franks Brothers and Corey Flyn sitting on the bench!
The Crusaders are the New York Yankees of Southern Hemisphere rugby. This does not seem right.
Here is my proposal for the Super Salary Cap, Super Trade System and what they will probably call the Super Draft, see the theme?
Super Salary Cap
Have a standardised salary cap. Each team has a salary budget of $A5 Million for the top 25 players. That is a starting 15 and 10 bench players. If each player is paid evenly that equates to $200,000 a season. However this isn’t a communist system, not everyone gets paid the same.
Teams can assign two “Franchise Players”, one forward and one back.
For example, the Crusaders could franchise Richie McCaw and Dan Carter. These players’ salaries do not count to your salary cap at all and you can pay them what you like. Bankrupt your organisation by paying their wages if you feel that strongly about them.
This way you can still have local legends that play for one team their entire career.
Teams can sign as many minimum level contracts, say $60,000 per year, as they like to fill out the lower portion of the roster or to help boost the payments for high profile players.
No third party player payments, if you can’t fit the player into your cap, trade him, cut him or just ruin his credibility by making him play in Japan.
If you release a player to play in Europe because he is sucking the life out of your team, then that player’s salary for that year still counts but cap space will be released at the end of the season. If you are smart you will ask the European team for compensation.
Super Trades (aka pillage protection)
Players are free to play for any team in the three countries and can still be selected to represent their home country. If you don’t like living away from home, go do something else, I think $200,000 is adequate compensation.
The trades require that the team obtaining a player must fulfil the remainder of that contract, a new contract can not be written
Trades can be made prior to the draft and before week five of the regular season. Players can be traded for draft picks (see the draft system I am about to create).
If a players contract expires, then its open season, an absolute free for all. A prize is awarded if an official can pull off a five-way trade without their heads exploding
Super Draft Day
Three round draft system and players of any age can nominate, even those who think they will be the next Sonny Bill Williams by converting from league to union.
The picks run in reverse order. However, to try and combat tanking I would employ something similar to the NBA’s lottery system. There is an equal chance of the bottom five getting the number one pick.
Just draw it from a hat, or have a sack race. I don’t care how they figure it out.
Overseas players can nominate for the draft. Imagine if Sebastian Chabal suddenly nominated.
I would simply draft him to sit on the bench and stare at opposing players for the entire match, then unleash him for the final 10 minutes, sitting there and enjoying the ensuing legalised aggravated assault. It may not help the team, but it would be awesome and the fans would love it. Remember this is a business, apparently.
There, simple, problem solved. Let’s take a look what happens to my boys, the Hurricanes if we trade rather than cut players.
The background to this is that the coach, numerous veterans, plus up and coming players weren’t happy with each other. The rational response, apparently, is to cut everyone that doesn’t like you. But what if we had used a trade system. Who could we have now?
Trade 1:
Ma’a Nonu to the Blues for Benson Stanley
This is just a straight swap. He is a handy midfield player and would provide great cover if the ageing Conrad Smith falls to pieces. This trade would also clear up some cap space because there is no way Stanley is getting the same as an All Black regular.
Trade 2:
Piri Weepu to the Blues for Daniel Braid and a second round pick.
This could be conceivable given Piri’s cult status. The Blues have decent reserves, with his younger brother Luke able to take over. Suddenly this gives a loose forward trio of Karl Lowe, Victor Vito and Daniel Braid. Not a bad result.
Trade 3:
Aaron Cruden to the Chiefs for Robbie Robertson and a first round pick.
Robbie will be sitting on the bench and soon Cruden will be one of the two best five-eighths in the country (and he only just hit puberty). With no obvious choice at the Hurricanes (I’m not sold on Tusi Pisi or Dan Kirkpatrick) this would be a good fit. He can also play fullback to cover injuries. Suddenly your backline is Chris Smylie, Robbie Robinson, Tim Bateman, Conrad Smith, Julian Savea, Corey Jane and “insert fast bloke to play on opposite wing here”.
Trade 4:
Andrew Hore to the Highlanders for Jason Rutledge
This trade would open up some cap space and would mean that the only Danny DeVito look-a-like in sports would be on my team. I hate to use the term underrated so I will say that he is under appreciated. He is a nuggetty, hard-nosed battler who isn’t particularly skilful, but has a knack for turning balls over and making try saving tackles. He is also easily the most intense man I have ever seen and a cult hero in Southland; this is a man who I would have led the Hurricanes forward pack.
Trade 5:
Hosea Gear for either the first or second round draft picks
Could easily get a first rounder given his dominance in the Wellington 7’s recently. However a second round pick would be just as good, considering we just picked up Danny DeVito.
By actually implementing a trade system, rather than gifting rival teams your best players the Hurricanes and other teams could actually build a reasonable team. Teams would also attract some talent through the draft to fulfil the urge teams have to build a team through “youth”.
Join The Roar rugby editor Christy Doran, former Wallaby Matt Toomua and a cast of regular and special guests as they look at the biggest issues in the game on The Roar Rugby Podcast. If you’re looking for great odds on the next game check out Aussie bookmaker PlayUp. Chances are you’re about to lose. Set a deposit limit.