The waters of the South Australian Aquatic Centre have ceased rippling. Now, Ian Thorpe’s London Olympic dream can finally be declared, to borrow a cockney term, ‘brown bread’.
The Thorpedo has sunk at the deep end. A now harmless Olympic relic condemned to a life of rotting on the pool bed, the chlorine slowly rusting through it’s shell casing with the demise of the once potent weapon juxtaposed against the ‘no bombing’ sign that hangs poolside.
Maybe I’m erring on the side of the dramatic here, but the last few weeks have certainly been no picnic for our former Olympic champ. Iit’s safe to say that Crowded House’s, ‘Don’t Dream It’s Over’ is on high rotation at Thorpe Manor for some time to come.
Thorpey’s demise puts us Aussie sports fans at a crossroads. We can either break out the violins and soothe Ian with a concerto of former glories or participate in the great Aussie pastime of Thorpe-bashing. This is an activity from which I derive more pleasure than Margaret Court does from removing the ‘queens’ from every deck of cards she comes across.
Let’s be clear about one thing; this comeback was risky business. So much so that we would not have begrudged the Thorpster sliding out onto the pool deck wearing only a business shirt, some white socks, a pair of Wayfarers and his speedos while urging the crowd to take their old records off the shelf.
This risk clearly did not pay off, with the repercussions of Thorpe’s failure to even qualify for the events finals resonating far beyond his spot on the team bound for London.
For starters, his name can be stricken from the record from any previous and future ‘greatest swimmers of all time’ debates. His reputation as an athlete has been more than simply ‘tarnished’ and no amount of glory-laden-chlorinated-water from the likes of Sydney or Athens will be able to wash it clean.
The question must be asked – why did he fail so miserably? Are money troubles the wrong motivation for a return to sport? Have the next wave of swimmers taken the sport to a level that is unattainable for his post-prime body?
Whatever the reason, it now means that all bets are off, Mr Thorpe.
Acknowledging and accepting the risk of stereotyping, swimmers are largely uninteresting people. It might have something to do with it being a largely lonesome profession, where the black line must be travelled over and over again in preparation for big races.
There’ve been a few exceptions to the bland rule over the years – Leisel Jones certainly showed some verve when she burst onto the scene but that might have had something to do with the fact she was only one year out of Floaties when she competed in her first Olympics, Hayley Lewis had enough personality to talk us into eating more bananas and Kieran Perkins at least entertained us with his ability to swim amazing times with a rather large chip rested on his shoulder. Ian Thorpe is not one of these exceptions.
I don’t profess to have a crystal ball, but at this point the best I can see for you Ian, is pandering to Bruce McAvaney on network Seven’s Olympic coverage or maybe a spot flogging ab-machines on day time television.
Hindsight is always 20-20, but maybe you should have thought twice before following in the comeback footsteps of Huegil, Trickett and every rock and roll band on this year’s “A Day on the Green” bill. Like these ageing rockers, you also now forced to trade only on hits of the past, because your failure has cost you your superhuman allure, and all the dollar signs that come with it.
I don’t to know Ian personally and cannot speak of his preferences, but if the rumours that have dogged him throughout his career hold any water, then he still has one option to reinvigorate his ailing career. If it was the case then, from a business perspective, it might just open a few new doors for the former champion.
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