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In the ongoing debate to determine the planet’s broadest bat, this Australian summer has seen loads of manic talk about the wide-ranging sword powers of Michael Clarke and Hashim Amla and which of these two should be fitted for the yellow jersey.
And with good reason.
There’s no doubt that these two trundler tormentors are worthy selections, with their recent data causing runs columns to bow under weight stress, as well as force commentators into blurting awkward terms like “purple vein of form.”
But surely the recent batting feats of Alastair Cook under the responsibility of the England captaincy, coupled with his amazing career record thus far, demands he be mentioned along with Clarke and Amla as members of the leading pack?
Cook must appear like a telephone booth planted in front of the sticks to exhausted attacks around the world who are fast becoming bereft of ideas on how to dupe him in to a muffed stroke.
When this resolute scoring automaton scratches his mark to take guard, consider the blinkers of fanatical focus super-glued down over his eyes and a reservation booked to stay in the middle for an indefinite number of days.
Deservedly so, the sterling portrayals currently rain down on the man like vigorously distributed podium champers.
Reinforced crease titanium. Arctic-cool cucumber temperament. Statistician’s fantasy. Probably a real stubborn bugger to play poker against.
And now arguably the world’s best batsman.
Cook is indestructible either as an innings saviour in troubled times or as a purveyor of pain when the sun is shining, and with each passing innings his notoriety as a genuine contemporary batting superhero further expands.
His unflappable and somewhat private demeanour off the field, offset with the fierce street-fighter determination and ruthless hunger of his on-field alter ego, make him the closest thing to a cricketing Batman with an Alfred accent.
The meticulous leftie has kicked on stupendously after the numerical heroism he produced when last on our shores for the Ashes horror of 2010/11.
Since those days of psycho-anguish for Australians, records that have stood long in the rich quilted history of the game have continued to be picked out like old stitches and replaced with the English silk of the man affectionately known in his homeland as ‘Chef.’
Over in India at the moment, the recently appointed replacement as skipper for Andrew Strauss has made the long term sight of his padded-up backside at the wicket a fixture as regular as the crease markings. The supposed pressure of captaincy has been firmly toed far into the stratosphere with five centuries in his first five matches as Pom chieftain, along the way setting a new mark for most runs by a captain in his first five games at the helm, a record previously held by another handy bat in Sir Don Bradman.
To add to this, he was officially crowned as England’s King of Goin’ Large when he tallied a typically-stoic 190 against India in Kolkata, a score which sent him alone at the top of the Test century-making tree in the Old Dart with 23. Not bad when you consider the calibre of countrymen he surpassed in Geoffrey Boycott, Wally Hammond, Colin Cowdrey and one-time tattler and now-cheek smooching teammate Kevin Pietersen.
He’s the youngest batsman to reach 7000 Test runs, and at the spritely age of 27, he has many other landmarks in the crosshairs. Graham Gooch’s English Test record of 8901 should be the proverbial tradie hammering out a new kitchen before smoko, with longer term goals such as the all-time record held by Sachin Tendulkar (15463 runs) a few storeys higher but very likely provided he steers clear of injury, sweaty nightclubs and the off-field company of boozehounds like Pietersen.
And if you think that prediction makes me sound like I’ve been on the warm Boddingtons with KP myself, then consider this: no other batsman in Test history has accumulated more runs before their 28th birthday than Cook. And when I say nobody, you can include even the Little Master himself. With his current average of 50.02 on the rise with the buoyancy of leadership, it would be a game man to say that Cook’s steady target shooting is going to cease any time soon.
Right now, Cook has the shimmering set of scores and scrapbook full of smashed records that should make him an undeniable candidate for world batting MVP alongside fellow heavyweights Clarke and Amla.
The top table should have a booking for three, with one seat saved for the Chef.