Sitting peacefully atop the NRL management pyramid, connected to his apprentice CEOs with a mixture of dotted and solid reporting lines, the ‘real’ CEO David Smith today unveiled a step-up in the war on drugs.
Gone are the days of unexplained steroid-induced acne outbreaks. Today’s versions are of the far more sophisticated, underhanded variety, and harder to detect than a sense of humour on Darius Boyd.
The NRL has been driven to this decision by the continuing ASADA investigation, so you can perhaps call it both reactive and proactive at the same time, depending on which side of the marketing and commentariat divide you sit.
In the NRL, an anti-doping probe could mean anything, but the thrust of the latest announcement includes:
– Introducing ABPs, or Athlete Biological Passports to be administered by ASADA, and processed by WADA – these are designed to record any changes in your blood over time, and detect the past use of performance-enhancers. These biological markers are not intended as paternity tests for young players, as far as I can tell, or related to inter-Shire travel.
– Increased testing for cologne, in which case, it occurs to me, Robbie Farah and Beau Ryan are in serious trouble. Or maybe it’s simply testing for peptides and sending the results to Cologne. Either way, it spells trouble for peptide-users and wearers of excessive cologne.
– Sending test samples for human growth hormone to London to take advantage of cutting edge technology. Like Ford motor cars, everything seems to be outsourced these days.
– Eliminating all referees immediately ( I could have made that up, but their ability to pass an anti-doping test is questionable)
The new measures have been cheered by most organisations with an ‘R’, including the NRL, NRL Clubs, RLPA, RSL and RSPCA, not to mention A(R)SADA who have RSVP’d their approval.
In other breaking NRL news, Nick Weeks has been appointed NRL General Manager of Integrity and General Counsel and Winner of Longest Title in the NRL, and Mr Julian O’Neill has been appointed Head of Atrocities.
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Channel 9 have contacted Fox League for comment after vision emerged of the NRL journalist's fight with a member of the public.
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