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Inspired by my fellow Roarer darcytrainor and his Five ‘centimetre perfect commentators article, I was immediately affronted that not one single rugby league caller made the list, particularly as Rex Hunt did.
And I won’t even go into why Bruce McAvaney is far from the number one commentator in Australia. If you want to know, just ask Raelene Boyle.
So here are the five callers of rugby league that I love to listen to. And the one who makes me turn off the audio.
5. Brad Fittler
New to the commentary game, Freddy has been a breath of fresh air to sports commentary in a way that has invigorated and enlivened the television sporting experience. Intelligent, lucid, to the point, the man has been a revelation with a microphone in his hand.
And man alive is he funny. The banter he partakes in with Andrew Johns on a Sunday morning is priceless and beyond hilarious.
Remember, this is the man who misses the final tackle in Game I of the 1994 State of Origin that resulted in the ‘miracle try’ that sealed the game for the Maroons.
Said Freddy: “Well, at least I made the highlights reel.”
4. Mike Stephenson
That’s right, they play and commentate on rugby league in the UK. Biased, unintelligible, often irreverent, this is literally the British version of Fatty Vautin. Without hair.
I have never seen a commentator, anywhere, attempt to defy the laws of the game, and physics, simply to convince people with marginally functioning vision that a British player has scored a try against the Kangaroos, despite said player dropping the ball from head height.
But the man loves his rugby league. And he has a genuine world-view of the game. Seeking to see the game grow, because it is the ‘best game in the world’, the man carries his heart on his sleeve.
And will forever be known for one of the great all-time rugby league quotes:
“That’s a try. T-R-I: Try!”
3. Rex Mossop
There is nothing I can say about Rexy that his legacy and he himself cannot say better. Take it away Rex:
“He seems to be favouring a groin injury at the top of his leg.”
“Now the referee is giving him a verbal tongue lashing.”
“Tiny, diminutive, little Mark Shulman.”
Of course, my personal favourite has nothing to do with league, upon complaining about nudist beaches:
“I don’t think the male genitals or the female genitals should be rammed down people’s throats.”
I can’t imagine Phil Gould coming up with any of those.
2. Peter Sterling
Personality goes a long way in sports commentary. But so does knowledge of the game you’re actually commentating on. Unless of course you’re Ian Healy.
‘Sterlo’ has always been the intelligent man of rugby league. Informative and personable, he offers perspectives you wouldn’t necessarily initially see, or he adds a dimension to what you’re actually watching.
This, in my opinion, is from the Richie Benaud school of commentary, and is what a commentator should be doing.
Don’t tell me what I’m looking at – I have eyes, and blind people are listening to the radio.
No, I want a commentator who is adding to what I’m seeing.
Sterlo does that every time. Despite the best efforts of Phil Gould, Andrew Johns and Fatty Vautin.
1. Ray Warren
Simply put, the man is the voice of rugby league. The excitement, the passion, the man has been doing this for decades.
And his quotability alone makes him a deadset Australian icon: “Shut the gate, put the glasses down” and “Turn it up Fatman” should be trademarked as national pieces of terminology.
He adds an aura of emotion to anything you watch. Heck, the man even makes the trainers seem other-worldly.
But it is his clear love of the game, combined with his passion and wisdom, and his ability to steer-clear of turning into another Darryl Eastlake, that truly makes him the voice of rugby league.
Also, the fact he gets ever-increasingly annoyed with Phil Gould makes him the stand-out league commentator above all others.
0. Ray Hadley
Can someone please tell that man to shoosh? Please!?
So there, you have it – five of the greatest and one of the not-so-greatest.
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