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Will Shrek be the comeback king?

Roar Guru
1st July, 2013
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Prior to the recent sacking of Australian cricket coach Mickey Arthur, I’d pegged the upcoming Ashes Test series [Ultra-Marathon Edition TM] as a 5-3 win for England.

Probably 3-1 in England and a 2-2 series in Australia. Take off a match each in each country due to potential weather issues.

After the announcement of Arthur’s departure, I felt as if I would place it at 6-2 the way of the Poms. At the very least. Perhaps even closer to 8-0. Yes, I am serious.

And then there’s the whole British media ‘worst-ever’ tag to get over – for both Aussie players and fans alike. But weren’t the 1958-59 Australians labeled likewise? They won 4-0 in five Tests.

The 1972 line-up? Worst-ever, apparently. They managed to draw the series 2-2. 1989? No, these guys were definitely the worst-ever. Australia brought back the precious urn with a 4-0 victory margin in six matches.

So here we are again. The 2013 Australian squad is, really, for sure, no doubt then, the absolute worst-ever. This is, paradoxically, excellent news for the Aussies and decidedly unnerving for the English. Why?

The claims regarding how feeble the visitors’ chances may be should mean that all the pressure is thus now on the home side. Favouritism for the Poms; extreme favouritism; in familiar local conditions; extra county players on hand if injuries result; with a bunch of supposed no-hopers as the opposition. Ha! Perfect timing then for Darren Lehmann to pounce on an unsuspecting Ye Olde Isle.

The losers’ tag? That’s just all the more reason to consider the enjoyment of any urn reclamation as a “greatest ever” comeback. And one that not too many would see coming. Least of all the Poms, probably.

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And if there is one man who could lead a fairytale comeback, it would be Boof.

Now is the moment for the man colloquially nick-named as “Shrek” to deliver his own script re-write for a happily-Ashes-after-all ending to surprise everyone, the pundits and the press alike.

Gerard Whateley in Friday’s Herald Sun in Melbourne put it this way, tossing in a timely political comparison.

“As certainly as Labor’s fate resides on the cult of Kevin Rudd, Darren Lehmann will become the most powerful figure in Australian cricket,” Whateley wrote.

“Lehmann comes to the role of national coach with impeccable credentials. But he remains a leap of faith born of necessity for those who promoted him so suddenly.”

Already, Boof’s plain speaking – as opposed to number-crunching jargon – has so far proven to be a wonderful breath of fresh air in the Baggy Green dressing room.

“End of the day I’m coach of the side and if we don’t win I will lose my job, that’s the way it is,” Lehmann told The AGE’s Chloe Saltau on Saturday.

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“I trust the players that we’re going to play a brand of cricket that will win us enough games, and I think if you have that philosophy, players will buy in and away we go…It’s regimented, but it’s still fun, you’ve probably seen how the guys are laughing a bit more and that’s the way we’re going to be. No one is going to die if we lose or win a game of cricket.”

Lose your job? Maybe. But not your life.

As for the mooted concept of Shane Warne as assistant coach/wrangler/team psyche-out talisman, it’s neither here nor there for mine. Boof would back the bloke to deliver in cricketing brain terms if required. But beware. With Lehmann and Warne leading an Ashes charge on foreign soil, things could take a delightfully madcap – and victorious – turn.

With those two at the helm, just picture the post-match press conferences. Warnie and Boof would bait – and quite possibly berate – the English to the point of bafflement and bemusement over the next three months. Both off the field and on it.

Over to you, Shrek! For Kevin…and country!

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