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Going hard on the 'soft' call - some perspective into a league player's mind

Roar Guru
14th August, 2013
11
1089 Reads

To further add to prominent terms which have dictated the NRL headlines in 2013, on top of ‘peptides’ and ‘epic bender crew’, ‘compassionate grounds’ has somehow become the new black in rugby league.

Now I can imagine all you hard nut traditional men out there, mumbling over your schooners down at the pub how these young bastards are all soft, wouldn’t have lasted a minute “back in your day”, and that the shoulder charge/fighting ban has ruined everything.

This however is the modern era big fella. Men are now encouraged to express if they are unhappy or emotional, but it seems whining when they do speak up is part of the attitude as well.

Earlier this season I was speaking to a player who had an absolute shocker of a game, the public went nuts for it and served him a caning.

“I hate it, my coach wouldn’t even speak to me after, I couldn’t talk to anyone – not even our team doctor about how I felt.”

Yeah yeah, I’m a woman writing this, again what would I know but let me tell you something buddy, I reckon I know a damn sight more than you when it comes to getting into the minds of a footballers head. And yes that did read head, not bed.

I can only put it down to my past. Being in a relationship with a rugby player for almost five years, I’ve seen it all.

The ex played the most sensational footy under his favourite coach and closest teammates; he was pure genius to watch. With almost two years on since we broke up I have no reason to be biased.

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Any footballer knows all too well when you rock up to training it’s the best time you can have, the bonding alone will be engraved into your soul forever. When it’s good, man, it’s the best.

Running out with out your best mates, reading each other’s plays with ease to pull off magic tries? You can’t beat that. Beers with your coach giving you some special props in the sheds after? A wonderful thing.

But what happens when a player changes clubs? When we moved overseas due to a new contract the downward spiral began. Trying to recreate all that former success with a new coach and teammates? It’s as rare as a video ref making the right call.

So it begins. They start to come home from training grumpy, “the coach is a d-ck, makes us do ridiculous drills”. Etc, etc.

“Yes but he is the coach” I’d repeat 40,000 times feeling like I was talking to Krisnan Inu when he donned his Warriors uniform.

Too late though, the onslaught has already begun. New teammates now start to lose respect for their new signing, “he doesn’t appreciate how good he has it”, yada-yada.

So they start to ignore him at training. They may go to dinner after training and not invite him. During games they’ll make selfish plays and not give him the ball when he is clearly open. The players now don’t want him there anymore, he feels it and he too wants outs.

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He turns up, but he no longer commits to training. When he does put in effort he keeps to himself. The coach in turn no longer speaks to him one on one, and trust breaks down.

Cue the players managers to make it all go away.

I’m not saying this is the case with Ben Barba, Anthony Milford or Blake Ferguson. But nevertheless it does happens across all codes, the NRL’s new welfare unit is a long awaited start.

Still, there are those out there who want them to open up about how they are feeling, but then call them soft when they do.

Make up your mind. There has to be some give.

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