- Video
-
Club Roar
Captured a great grassroots sporting moment? We want to see it!Content Collections
The Roar Community
- Join
- Login
The Joneses would beat the Smiths in a game of rugby union. My starting Jones XV is captained by Michael Jones, the Iceman. He has to play No. 8, because I have issues filling in my team-sheet with pure specialists.
Team Jones
Rhodri Jones gets the surprise start at loosehead, because I couldn’t find any other Jones.
Dai Jones was an early 1900s hooker – a generalised ‘forward’ and Welshman nicknamed ‘Bull’, who was banned from union for playing league, and was part of a team that beat touring New Zealand. He was the Bismarck du Plessis of his day.
Adam Jones is tighthead, of course.
The locks are Ian Jones, with his 105 All Black caps; and Alun-Wyn Jones, although I’m not a big fan of the latter.
The loose trio is completed by Mark Jones, a 47-capped Welshman with good size (6 foot 6) and Gwyn Jones, who only had 13 caps for Wales, but seemed destined for a hundred, before his career was cut short by injury and ended up a doctor.
The scrumhalf for the Joneses is Nick Farr-Jones. He will feed the ball to the tremendously underrated Harry Jones, of Canada.
In case Harry has a hard time kicking for poles or exiting his 22, I’ll have 104-capped Stephen Jones in the 12 channel.
Next to Stephen will be one of the ‘Dancing Dicks’: Dick Jones (who played for Wales from 1901-1910, and was the great great grandfather of New Zealand comedian Dai Henwood).
The wings will be dual-code Lewis Jones (reportedly the most devastating back ever produced by Wales) and Ken Jones, a silver medalist sprinter from the 1948 Olympics and a 44-cap back for Wales.
At fullback, we’re going with Felix Jones, an Irishman. Just for fun.
This seems like a team that will keep it tight, and win most arm-wrestles.
But can they defeat…
Team Smith
Captained by George Smith, the Smiths have an awesome set of flanks: Juan and George Smith – a perfect combination of blindside South African power and openside Aussie guile.
At No. 8, there’s Scottish Lion Ken Smith, who scored a lot of tries from the base of the pack.
In front of them would be Kiwi Alan Smith and British Lion Dyne Smith, in the second row.
In the front row, it’s a bit ragged: Tom, Tom, and Robbie.
Tom at loosehead had 174 caps for Northampton, 61 for Scotland, and six for the Lions. Hooker Tom toured with the Lions in 1908. Robbie was a 1903 Lion.
That could be the Smiths’ undoing.
Team Smith gets better in the backline, where we have Conrad, Ben, and Aaron Smith as mainstays.
That’s good, because inside centre and fullback are staffed by the band, ‘The Smiths’, who will use song to distract the mostly-Welsh team of Joneses, seeing as the Welsh love to sing.
(We might throw in Steve Smith or Wayne Smith instead of the rock band.)
The flyhalf is Ian Smith. Not the Rhodesian, the Greyhound; a jockey and rugby player born in Australia, raised in New Zealand, and a 32-test playmaker for Scotland.
I am sure Roarers will remind me of Smiths and Joneses I’ve forgotten.
Join The Roar rugby editor Christy Doran, former Wallaby Matt Toomua and a cast of regular and special guests as they look at the biggest issues in the game on The Roar Rugby Podcast. If you’re looking for great odds on the next game check out Aussie bookmaker PlayUp. Chances are you’re about to lose. Set a deposit limit.