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As Australians there will always be choices that divide us: Labor or Liberal. Holden or Ford. Kylie or Danni Minogue.
All of these battles pale in comparison however to the ultimate barn burner debate…AFL or NRL.
1,2,3,4 – I declare 2014 footy code war!
While many choose to throw another log on the fire to stay warm over the winter months, the sporting inclined know that the best way to beat the chill is to rest your feet on a red hot footy forum fight.
Like history’s greatest conflicts no one exactly knows when the animosity actually began, but legend has it that a heated argument over regulation football short lengths in the Albury-Wodonga area early last century kick-started the bad blood that now makes the Montague and Capulet feud look like an ‘A Current Affair’ dodgy neighbourhood dispute.
Each year the rumbling begins as a bit of light sparring between fan-bases during the harmless pre-season matches, before a month into the competitions proper rival footy factions are at each other’s throats and the innocent banter has given way to bitter broadband battles.
The leaguies laugh at the point for missing. The Aussie Rulers tell them they’re missing the point.
AFL fans say NRL players are big and slow. Rugby league fan’s say eight-foot beanpoles aren’t their go.
The specky takers speak of flags and umps. The scrum packers of Video refs and Winfield Cups.
A line is drawn, the mood is tense…then someone mentions Billy Idol’s hovercraft and two angry mobs jump the fence.
Suddenly childish antiqued insults like ‘aerial ping-pong’ and ‘cross-country wrestling’ are being trotted out as regularly as confused B-Grade American celebrities at the Logie Awards, and pretty soon you’re knee deep in a Donnybrook over whether a team jumper is a ‘Jersey’ or ‘Guernsey’ that looks like needing UN intervention.
Is this really what we’ve come to as a sporting society, arguments over which poxy little Pommy island has the better name?!?
Can’t we stop this madness? Won’t somebody think of the talented juniors?
Err, no.
Alright maybe we could (after all there’s cricket season) but why would we ever want to do that?
Fanaticism is what keeps this great country turning, hell it’s the only reason anyone voted in the last election for starters, and if you can’t get all one-eyed and fanatical about you’re footy code then you’d best get the trainer to bring you the smelling salts brother.
Because it doesn’t matter if you’re crazy about the AFL, or NRL obsessed, and even if we’ll never all agree on the shape of the field, number of posts in the ground or even basic terminology, at least we can come to an understanding on one thing.
We’re all a bunch of footy nuts who’ll spend a shed-load of this year watching blokes far fitter and talented than us boot a ball around while getting paid handsomely to do so…and love every single second of it!
Oh, that and that Karmichael Hunt bloke, he goes alright doesn’t he?
This article brought to you by Foxtel Sports
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