The Roar
The Roar

Advertisement

Better ways to keep Burgess in the NRL

Ben Te'o (right) will be hoping his rugby union career with England is more successful than that of former teammate Sam Burgess. (AAP Image/Paul Miller)
Expert
20th February, 2014
31
2661 Reads

It’s supposed to be the Roosters time to shine this weekend but look out, oh no, Sydney’s little Rabbit-bros have gone and hogged the headlines with big cry baby Sam Burgess.

And hasn’t it been one hell of a headline?

For those with their head under a Dwayne Johnson for the last week, squirrelling Sam has up and dumped the last two years of his Souths contract to play rugby union for Bath in England.

However, despite members of the Burgess clan traditionally having big things in front of them when there are baths involved, the move is likely to be a massive flop.

For starters Burgess will be hopeless at rugby union. Rugby union journalists who’ve dedicated their life post 1989 NSWRL grand final to bagging rugby league at every chance have already told us so.

And secondly, just knowing of all the good stuff he’s missing out on back in Oz when he’s in the old dart pushing around a scrum machine and trying to make it past the semi-finals of a world cup would be enough to put Sam’s mind in a tizz.

Guest appearances on The Footy Show. Watching Origin on telly. Being part of Souths triumphant rise to one game short of a grand final three-peat.

Err, ok, so maybe he’s not missing that much, which begs the question…could the NRL offered more to keep him in the game?

Advertisement

So far all the hacks have been able to come up with is to let Burgess play for NSW, a move which even Craig Smith reckons would make the whole state versus state thing look a bit dodgy and an idea he would be brushing away with a few strategically lifted knees.

Again there is a clear lack of imagination on display here by the game’s top brass, luckily though I’ve got some cracker ideas to keep him in the code.

What about getting Burgess a gig at the NRL’s Education and Welfare unit as a Cultural Ambassador, much like Nigel Vagana does for Polynesian players but for the English imports?

Every fortnight Sam and his brothers could invite round the rest of the lads and mum Julie could make a blood pudding or brain and kidney pie (doesn’t sound particularly appetising I know but I reckon James Graham would still have a bite) followed by a few episodes of The Bill and a game of rounders in the back yard.

Or what about finally getting Burgess in a movie?

The man is Russell Crowe’s adopted son for crying out loud, surely Rusty could wrangle him a spot as the next Baz Luhrman bad guy or put him together with fellow Souths bookend Ian Roberts in the next Superman movie.

Failing all this if Burgess really does want a new ‘challenge’ then I’ve got just the vehicle. He doesn’t even have to leave Sydney for it.

Advertisement

It’s, wait for it, the World Club Challenge!

Of course, he’d have to win a comp before he could do that…

close