Couch sitters, it seems like just yesterday that the curtain was brought down on the 2013 season and the corner posts, the banners and $5 lukewarm pies were put away for the summer.
But it’s almost time to take up residence back on the couch, remote at hand.
The off season probably feels shorter this time due to the Rugby League World Cup which seemed to run for years.
The RLWC brought some sanity back to the sporting world with Australia seeing off heavyweights like the USA and the Cook Islands, before smashing the Kiwis in the final to regain the title of World Champions.
I believe the Aussies were also leading the race in the number of off-field incidents, thanks to Billy Slater and his punch that may have seen him cop eight years in gaol if it had taken place in Kings Cross, thanks to Barry O’Farrell.
Memo to the networks. Call me hard-hearted, but I don’t care about Schapelle Corby.
I didn’t care when she was arrested, I didn’t care when she was charged, I didn’t care when she was sentenced, I didn’t care when she (briefly) converted to Islam and I didn’t care about the procession of celebrity businessmen and lawyers bankrolling her defence team.
I didn’t care about the corrupt Qantas baggage handler claim and I didn’t care when it revealed to have been made up.
I didn’t care when her sanity or her sexuality was questioned and I didn’t care about the speculation every year when a month or two was knocked off her sentence.
I don’t care that she has been granted parole and been released. I don’t care about the tele-movie, I don’t care about the interview deal, and the inevitable future book and promotion deals and appearances on Dancing with the Stars.
It makes me weep for the future of mankind when I consider the amount of time, money, effort that has been devoted to covering this bogan family. Who are these people that do care?
The networks obviously think everyone is absolutely riveted with this story and struggled to assign the appropriate level of proportion to how they cover it.
Was it absolutely necessary for Channel Nine to show a live cross to the Indonesian courtroom with nothing happening in the corner of the screen, just in case her release was announced? How is this so important that we need to know the instant it happens?
Was the news in any way clarified or enhanced by sending Karl Stefanovic to Bali to report from onsite?
I’m all for sending Karl to Bali, or better still somewhere a bit more far-flung, like Tibet – but please make it a one-way ticket.
Without further ado, let’s get into my fearless predictions for the 2014 season, in 2013 finish order featuring the world’s first and only Haiku preview for each team.
Easts Roosters (2013 Premiers – first – 18-6)
The 2013 Roosters gave hope to all teams foundering at the foot of the table, that Premiership glory is only a good coach and a couple of new signings away.
The Roosters finished 2012 in 13th spot, conceding 626 points.
One year later after cutting some dead wood including coach Brian Smith and captain Braith “I’ll prove what a great ball player I am, by refusing to run the ball, ever” Anasta and adding some significant signings – the Roosters finished Minor Premiers.
The conceeded only 325 points and going on to win the grand final. Even the much maligned Mitchell Pearce looked competent.
If a similar sort of improvement occurred in any individual sport like swimming, cycling, or athletics, then the whispers over drug abuse would be deafening.
Rooster-haters instead point to how Easts could possibly manage to add $BW, Maloney, Michael Jennings and Luke O’Donnell to a side already packed as full as some Corby luggage and still fit under the salary cap.
The biggest coup for the Roosters other that Brad Fittler coming out of retirement to pull on the boots for the Auckland 9’s has been being able to negotiate to have the World Cup Challenge played in Australia.
For the last however many years, the NRL premiers have had to endure a flight to England and back plus a tough game before the start of a long hard season.
There has not been a repeat premiership winner since the early 90s and I’d venture that this extra burden on the premiers is one of the reasons. By playing the game in Australia, the Roosters have already greatly improved their chances of repeating.
Sonny, Maloney and
Jennings. The cap auditors
Turned a blind eye
2014 Tip: Top four – Pearce still tanks for NSW
Manly Sea Eagles (Runners Up – fourth – 15-1-8)
Doom and gloom was predicted for Manly for 2013 (mostly by me).
An ageing roster, losing some depth players and the delicate juggling act of trying to keep their other stars signed without stomping on delicate egos with who gets paid more
Manly came out looking like geniuses. Their training staff worked overtime with pain killing injections and sticky tape for Watmough’s knee, Matai’s shoulder and both Stewart brothers to keep them on the field for most of the season.
Of the players they lost – Tony Williams was the biggest flop of 2013 while the fringe/depth players they lost like Dean Whare, Darcy Lussick, Daniel Williams were more than adequately replaced by bargain bin signings Justin Horo, Brenton Lawrence and Tom Symonds.
Jamie Lyon is living proof of what a great career move it has been to turn his back on NSW duties. Without the physical and mental toll State Origin games, Lyon is still playing at the top of his game at an age when most players are showing the wear and tear.
Extending his career for a couple more years is going to be far more financially beneficial to him than playing for NSW.
One player has succumbed to the wear and tear is Richie Fa’aoso.
For a number of seasons I’ve been calling for someone to stop Richie from playing to save him from himself.
He has been knocked cold a number of times in recent years, yet his clubs have been willing to put him back out on the field despite all the medical evidence that repeated concussions can have a terrible impact later in life.
The decision was taken out of Richie’s and the clubs hands when he was forced into retirement after breaking his neck in last year’s finals.
Manly need money
Have to re-sign players and
Toovey’s 10 grand fine
2014 Tip: Top four – While Foran and Cherry-Evans are there, anything is possible.
@Armchair_Guru
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