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Australia’s Test series capitulation in the UAE figuratively unveiled Pakistan’s new team bus, befittingly decorated with records accumulated in a procession of one-way traffic in a land where turning wickets remain a Sudoku-like challenge for wearers of the baggy green.
With barely enough fingers among Michael Clarke’s weather-beaten slips cordon to keep tabs on Pakistan’s list of achievements, triumphant captain Misbah-ul-Haq could offer a timely reminder by ferrying his dusted opponents to their outbound flight using the new Bus of Records, at least guaranteeing arrival in record time.
Those passed by the shiny cruiser would learn the series victory represents Pakistan’s first over Australia this century and first against Australia in the UAE.
And that Misbah reached a ton in record-equalling time, and three players topped 100 for the first time in the same innings for Pakistan against Australia, and the highest third-wicket partnership for Pakistan against Australia was lapped – and that’s just covering the back of the bus.
With ageless willow-wielding warrior Younis Khan riding from the roof, the remainder of the panels honour the axeman’s lengthy list of breakthroughs that place him among the game’s elite.
Including passing 8,000 Test runs, setting the record for most Test hundreds by a Pakistani, becoming the first player to score hundreds in three consecutive Test innings against Australia since 1925, becoming the first player since 1974 to score two tons in a Test against Australia, scoring the most runs against Australia in a two-Test series, becoming the leading run-scorer in Tests in the UAE, and becoming the only Pakistani to score a century against all nine other Test-playing nations.
No wonder the Nine Network ditched overseas tours for home cooking shows and renovation romps.
From the couch Down Under it’s hats off, but where to for Australia and what is the next challenge for Younis Khan? Perhaps bettering Charles Bannerman’s highest Test score by an Australian on debut would stoke the embers at both camps. Scored in 1877 it’s due to be trumped, and Darren Lehmann would gleefully roll out the welcome mat to entice the former Pakistan skipper.
Eligibility may take a few years but no concern given Charles himself was born in England and former South African captain Kepler Wessels came within three runs of the dream in 1982. In fact, Mathew Sinclair holds the record for highest Test score on debut by an Australian-born cricketer, with 214, albeit under a black cap for New Zealand in 1999.
Then again, perhaps it is sillier than it sounds, even career limiting, given the scorers of the top two debut innings for both Australia and Pakistan failed to top the ton in subsequent Test appearances.
A simpler solution would be to sneak the rejuvenated Pakistani right hander among Pup’s XI under the name Usman Khawaja. Only problem is the real Usman is a lefty; perhaps a grip reversal by all team members would complement the disguise and improve Australia’s incompetence on grassless dustbowls.
Fantasy aside, past Australian line-ups have also crashed to the basement on the subcontinent, the better ones rising to the top through smart preparation under the guidance of past masters. And there is no reason to doubt the rebounding capabilities among Lehmann’s squad.
But for now, Australia need to relax and revive among the smell of freshly cut green-tops for the upcoming home series against India.
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