For even those living under the heaviest of rocks burdened with the most uncooperative of dial up internet connections, word is out that Floyd Mayweather Jr and Manny Pacquiao will be punching out a one-off fight on May 2.
At the MGM Grand Garden Arena in front of what is sure to be a sell-out crowd of 16,800, hometown hero Mayweather will take on Filipino battering-ram Pacquiao.
But for those of you who don’t know the difference between muscly people hitting each other and where you fold in the bottom of a box so it fits better in the recycling, don’t worry – we’re here to get you up to speed.
Let’s just say it’s kind of a big deal.
Some easily excited boxing fans, publicists and clickbait journalists have titled it ‘the best fight since Ali versus Frazier 1’.
Even though both fighters are arguably past their prime, four titles are on the line: the World Boxing Association, the World Boxing Council, the World Boxing Organisation and The Ring Welterweight titles. This will make the winner the undisputed SuperPresident of the universe.
Mayweather is understood however to be upset at missing out on a chance on claiming the ‘No Homers Club‘ welterweight title.
Floyd hasn’t been beat
Fans of his refer to him as the best ever, and his win record goes a long way to saying why. After a retirement, jail term, and multiple comebacks, Mayweather is undefeated – with 47 wins from 47 fights – though if you count battery and assault charges the victories head into the fifties.
The only place where his supremacy has wavered so far is Dancing with the Stars, where the man dubbed ‘Pretty Boy’ finished an unattractive ninth.
Manny is left handed
The little guy from the Philippines fights ‘Southpaw’, with his right hand and foot in front. The most traditional stance for left handers, it is more or less a mirror of the right handed ‘orthodox’ stance. Some say that left handers are at a disadvantage when boxing, pointing to the lack of southpaw champions, but others argue the stance creates an advantage due to their relative scarcity.
For the record, comic book hero and lavender latex enthusiast The Phantom adopted the Southpaw stance on numerous occasions, and he was strong enough to punch a skull permanently into bad guys’ faces.
Am I saying Manny could punch his emblem into an opponent’s face? Am I saying Manny is the Phantom? Evidence is scarce but I’m going to say of course.
Floyd loves trash talking
Head down to a gym – particularly a boxing gym – and be prepared to see posters adorned with slogans and quotes from Mohammed Ali, George Foreman (pre-grilling machine) and at a stretch, Anthony Mundine.
What you are less likely to see is an inspirational Floyd quote. Mayweather’s quotes are less inspirational, and more direct slander against his opponents.
They include:
“I just dish out ass whoopin’s.”
“From 154 on down I tear everyone’s ass up.”
“Miguel Cotto is a punching bag. He knows he can’t beat me.”
Entertaining as they are, it’s unfair to be critical; Mayweather has taken literally thousands of blows to the head over his career, expecting a quote as whimsical as Oscar Wilde would be harsh.
Manny takes a different route
The same can’t be said of Pacquiao. Since 2007 he has run for a seat in the Philippine House of Representatives. He won a seat on second attempt in 2010 in a “man of the people” landslide, before he ran again – this time unopposed – in the 2013 election.
Impressive, but it would take a brave man to run against Pacquiao – defying a ‘captain’s call’ from ‘the Filipino Slugger’ could carry a career-threatening punch to the face.
If being one of the world’s best fighters and a national politician wasn’t enough, he also nominated – and was drafted – in the Philippines Basketball Association last year to stay fit.
Some have doubted his ability to simultaneously be a boxer and professional basketballer, for Pacquiao to respond “I have also experienced this before I started boxing, but I proved them wrong” before presumably pointing to his guns (see punch to face above).
The prize money
Part of the agonising wait for over six years for the fight has been agreeing on a purse. Boxing prize money is a complicated matter, there’s direct prize money from the competition, agent fees, ticket sales proportions, sponsorships, and of course, pay-per-view TV sales.
Tickets to the fight are expected to sell at over $3000 US, but hotel rooms at the MGM Grand for the night are already sold out, so find a nice park bench or be prepared to party all night.
All of this means a projected payout for Manny and Floyd of $100m and a staggering $150m for one fight. Basically, what all this means is whatever your career choice has been, you have chosen poorly.
That $150 million is on top of Mayweather being named 2014’s highest earning athlete, and after the fight his career prize money will tip over $600 million.
Ask yourself, what would you do with that money? For me it’s simple, order 600 million potato cakes and achieve my life goal of being Jabba the Hutt.
The nicknames
Boxing is a sport of nicknames. Joe Frazier was ‘Smokin’ Joe.’ Mohammed Ali ‘The Greatest’ or ‘The People’s Champion’. George Foreman was arguably left behind a little bit with ‘Big George’.
This decade’s prize fighters have a couple of their own. Mayweather possesses ‘Pretty Boy’, ‘Money’ or humbly ‘TBE (The Best Ever).
Pacquiao wins this contest at least with ‘Pac-Man’, ‘The Fighting Congressman’, ‘Fighting Pride of the Philippines’, ‘National Godfather’ and the favourite of myself and poets everywhere, ‘The Nation’s Fist’. And to add insult to injury, just remember that Mayweather’s real name is actually Floyd.
The verdict
As much as it hurts, I’m going to have to turn my back on the boxer-cum-politician-cum-basketballer-cum-musician-cum-actor. His CV is longer than Floyd’s rap sheet, but boxers don’t have to make nice people, and Floyd’s record and style could well be too much for Pacquiao.
No doubt Pac-Man will seek vengeance for some racist things that Floyd said but Floyd has genuinely beaten all comers. Floyd has more to lose than Pacquiao but he has put his reputation on the line dozens of times before and come out on top.
All eyes are now on May the second, whatever the result, money will come out on top.
Let’s get ready to rumble! Pick a fighter and place your bets with PlayUp for great odds. Chances are you’re about to lose. Set a deposit limit.
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