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Ma'a Nonu: The Magnificent Misfit

Ma'a Nonu. Intimidation and skill under a pile of dreadlocks. (AAP Image/Matt Roberts)
Roar Guru
29th September, 2015
53
2416 Reads

It’s the year 2000. Your humble correspondent is a podgy, spotty faced school boy whose squeaky tenor is rapidly turning hoarse.

I am at St. Patrick’s College, Silverstream in Wellington crowded on an embankment with similarly delirious and odious smelling lads.

We are watching our First XV tackle Rongotai College in the annual traditional fixture.

These days are big. The entire school is let out of class for the afternoon to barrack for our boys.

We are expected to win but Rongotai College is always a dangerous opponent, despite our lopsided historical advantage.

They appear to be a tag of misfits, especially when contrasted with Silverstream boys.

Silverstream is a white, middle-class Catholic school. Our faces are clean shaven. Our uniforms are tidy and our hair does not extend beyond shoulder length. Our rugby teams play in a hard and calculated fashion. Later in the season we triumph in the local championship.

Rongotai are more cosmopolitan. Their uniforms are scruffy, shirts are untucked and some boys wear odd socks. Their supporters sing songs that don’t take the hallelujah out of hallelujah and their hair is liberally long. They play rugby with cheek. They can be super and shite in the same phase.

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They are Silverstream’s anthesis.

With two minutes left Silverstream are up 24-19, uncomfortably close. We haven’t played well, but this team knows how to get it done.

Last play and this bloke with dreadlocks busts the defence. To us privileged doyleys he looks like an overaged Rastafarian bodybuilder.

He goes and he goes, surely not! He scores. We are all stunned.

Silence is temporary. The same bloke lines up the conversion to win the game. He can’t kick this. It would be blasphemy.

We taunt without mercy, Django Unchained suddenly sounds like Sesame Street. The ball leaves the tee and like a dagger through the heart sails down the middle of the posts. Rongotai wins 26-24.

Fast forward fifteen years and that Rongotai heathen will play his 100th Test for the All Blacks on Friday.

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Ma’a Nonu once described himself as an enigma – and that he is.

He is the most yellow carded player in Super Rugby history and one its most capped nomads.

He was loathed by the most fabled franchise. The Crusaders didn’t want a bar of him, yet he happily carries the water for his Wellington club team, Oriental Rongotai.

He once took umbrage at a critical match report. Quizzed on why he was so upset, he said it was because his parents had read it.

Then there was mascara, Colin Meads heart rate soared.

In 2007 Nonu was omitted from the All Blacks World Cup squad.

The relative lightweights of Aaron Mauger, Luke McAlister, Isaia Toeava and Mils Muliaina (it’s true) were the preferred midfield stocks.

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After four seasons, and 19 Tests, the then 25-year-old appeared finished.

Since 2008, Nonu has played 81 of the All Blacks 104 Tests. He has started 83 Tests overall and won 87 times.

He has shared the midfield with Conrad Smith 55 times. Their respective nicknames ‘the Snake’ and ‘the Rock’ capture their opposing styles perfectly.

Smith is silky. Nonu is a bully. Smith outwits you. Nonu hurts you.

Nonu has matured into the complete footballer. He has always been explosive with and without the ball, but now those attributes are complemented by deceptively light feet, a precise and varied kicking game and a greater all-around astuteness.

In 2011 he won the William Webb Ellis trophy and was on the shortlist for IRB World player of the year.

The All Blacks have produced some fairly handy second-fives over the years. Warwick Taylor, Ian MacRae, Walter Little and Bert Cooke immediately spring to mind.

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Do those names strike fear into the opposition like Nonu?

Do those names boast the longevity of success Nonu has enjoyed?

Nonu has polarised. He has upset the apple cart.

He is the magnificent misfit who fits.

I only wish I appreciated that 15 years ago.

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