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There are 292 days until the end of the year, but Waratahs captain Michael Hooper has a vice-like grip on the world’s dumbest sporting quote of 2017.
Having fallen over the line to beat the Force in the Super Rugby opener, the Waratahs copped two hidings at Johannesburg and Durban to leave South Africa without a single competition point for the first time in the 21-year history of the tournament.
“But it was a successful tour on the training paddock,” was Hooper’s reaction.
What?
In the light of day, Hooper must surely regret making such a goose of himself.
It’s a change from the old chestnuts of “back to the drawing board’, and “we will learn from our mistakes.”.
For a franchise that boasts 12 Wallabies with 404 caps, the Waratahs have been an embarrassment.
How can so many highly qualified footballers forget the rugby basics of run, pass, catch, support, and tackle?
Yet they were so “brilliant” on the training paddock, a place where nobody gives a rats.
Not one Waratah deserves a guernsey in the Australian Super Rugby team of the week, and that includes Hooper who took a back seat to the ageless 36-year-old Reds open-side flanker George Smith.
And Hooper was the Waratahs best player, closely followed by Israel Folau.
But the rest were insipid, where is their pride, their passion?
Surely lock Dean Mumm and half Nick Phipps have over-stayed their use-by date. Their performances this season have been way below their normal low standards.
But it gets worse – Waratahs fans only have to look at the stats.
In the 19-13 win over the Force, the Waratahs enjoyed 56 per cent possession, and 58 per cent territory to creep home with so many Wallabies.
To compound their mistakes, the Waratahs turned over possession 17 times to 13.
Their only redeeming feature was giving up nine penalties to 15, in a boring game that resulted in just a try apiece.
Against the Lions in Johannesburg and the massive 55-36 loss that resembled touch football, the Waratahs turned over possession 11 times, missed 30 tackles, and gave up 15 penalties.
The Lions, with 60 per cent possession, and 59 per cent territory, scored eight tries to five.
Against the Sharks in Durban, the Waratahs had 56 per cent possession, and 57 per cent territory, yet were beaten 37-14, with the Sharks scoring four tries to two.
That’s easy to understand when the Waratahs missed 33 tackles, turned over possession 23 times, and gave up 11 penalties.
Next up the Brumbies who aren’t playing crash hot rugby either, so there’s only one way for the Waratahs to go – and that’s up.
Just as well the ARU has been lazy scheduling the June Test window, coming up with Fiji, Scotland, and Italy.
If it was England or Ireland, even Wales, Wallaby coach Michael Cheika would be genuinely concerned that his potential squad is firing blanks.