The Roar
The Roar


BREAKING: Jarryd Hayne named captain-coach of Gold Coast Titans

Jarryd Hayne: one hell of a player. (AAP Image/Brendan Esposito)
21st August, 2017
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The world of rugby league is in shock after reports confirmed Jarryd Hayne is set to take an unprecedented role at the Gold Coast Titans.

Soon after the news broke that Neil Henry had been sacked by the club, Twitter was awash with rumours over who his replacement would be.

While names like Kevin Walters and Brian Smith were thrown around, it was revealed by Titans CEO Graham Annesley that Jarryd Hayne would be stepping up into the role as ‘captain-coach’.

“The board came to the conclusion that Jarryd would be the best way forward for the club after he threatened to leave if we didn’t give him what he wanted,” Annesley said.

“He’s always got the best interests of the club at heart.”

Hayne, for his part, is thrilled for this new chapter of his career.

“It’s been my lifelong dream to be captain-coach of an embattled NRL expansion team ever since I was a little kid,” Hayne told the media.

“It’s not about the money or the status or the accolades, what it’s really about is the thing that’s most precious to me – building my brand.

“I really think this will open up a whole new range of merchandising options, and isn’t that really what sport’s all about?”


According to the players, the first training session went off smoothly, having been put through their paces with a number of new drills to help them adapt to Hayne’s style of play.

These include: throwing ill-timed and wildly unrealistic passes, running sideways for as long as possible and mandatory ‘Hayne Plane’ celebrations for all tries.

Editor’s note: Yes, in case you didn’t realise, this is a satire piece and is not meant to be taken seriously.