The Roar
The Roar

AFL
Advertisement

The Holy Grail: The world's best sporting trophies

Captain Cook and his men have torn through Australia again. AFP PHOTO / IAN KINGTON
Roar Rookie
29th September, 2017
0

With football grand finals just around the corner, a select few will go to bed dreaming of getting their hands on the biggest prize of their lives.

They’re on the road to the Holy Grail. For some, that search ends with a well proportioned but admittedly bland silver cup. Others are fighting for a bronzed rendering of a tall man named Norm and a little man named Arthur covered in mud.

Both are undoubtedly classics, but what does the rest of the world’s trophy cabinet have to offer? While there might be some more prized and some more quirky, it’s time for a list of the best trophies from around the globe.

1) The Paris-Roubaix cobble
Getting a trophy in the original sense, involved taking away part of your defeated enemy’s loot (or part of your defeated enemy) so it could be waved in the air for the home team to enjoy. That’s part of what makes the Paris-Roubaix trophy so good.

The bone jarring ‘Hell of the North’ is a race through parts of France where bicycles simply shouldn’t go. Its simple cobble-on-a-stand design tells the true story. The enemy isn’t the other riders. It’s the road.

2) The Stanley Cup
You’ve got to respect a cup that can only properly be carried sideways and with two hands. Especially when you’re standing on ice. There are few trophies that have actually physically grown in stature and the Stanley Cup has done that for the best part of a century.

At over 15 kilograms and a yard long it is one impressive beast.

3) The Ashes
On the other hand, those who have seen the Ashes trophy at close range are surprised by its diminutive dimensions No-one really knows what’s in it apart from charred English souls, burnt to a crisp in 1882 by the demon Spofforth.

Advertisement

Forget that the urn has remained at the centre of one of the world sport’s most enduring rivalries. Over the years thousands of people have squinted in an attempt to read the archaic and enigmatic poem that it bears, before saying, “What the hell is a welkin?”

England's victorious Ashes side?

AFP PHOTO / IAN KINGTON

4) World arm-wrestling league hammer
While it’s not the most high-profile silverware, the World Arm-Wrestling League trophies have been lifted by some fearsome American and Swedish forearms. So it’s appropriate that they get a massive hammer that’s so unwieldy it’s not unknown for the winner to accidentally bludgeon themselves on the head in the effort of celebration. A trophy that can make you feel like a Norse god and give you a brain injury at the same time truly deserves its place.

5) The Green Jacket
Sport is not all about yelling and crashing into things. For the more gentle folk it’s good that there are some trophies that aren’t waved overhead in primitive triumph. Is a trophy that you are not given but gently helped into worthy of high level sport?

For this most august of formal wear the answer is definitely yes.

6) The Bledisloe Cup
It’s huge, fat, heavy and looks good against a black background which has come in handy in recent years. Not only do you need to be a rugby player to lift it – you need to be a rugby player to lift it. Has to be a contender.

7) The Bells Beach Trophy
Sport isn’t all about form; it’s mainly about function. That’s why it’s hard to go past a trophy that not only looks good but can be shaken aloft in unbridled joyous triumph. Classy and self-referential, it’s up there with the best.

Advertisement

What’s missing from the list? Have your say.

close