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Hi. I’ve written for you before – but not for a while. Here’s my attempted angry humour on Round 16.
This round, the top of the table Melbourne Storm – the best team of the modern era – meet the St George Illawarra Dragons, semi-final hopefuls struggling to stay in contention.
What would seem, on paper, an enticing fixture is now reduced to a second rate farce. State of Origin commitments, injuries and suspensions will rob this game of at least 17 first grade players. That’s an entire team missing from the field.
Names like Widdop, Hunt, Norman, Graham, Lomax, Lafai, Frizell, Sims and Vaughan are absent from the Dragons.
Munster, Chambers, Welch, Kafusi, Addo-Carr, Finucane and Scott are missing for the Storm.
Injuries usually account for a few players, but seriously, the Dragons (my team) are going to field a pretty ordinary side. Like jury duty, coach Paul McGregor has been knocking on doors trying to find 12 fair-minded people willing to take on the role of halfback or second rower.
I fear for Craig Bellamy’s bile duct if his team of new foundlings drop the ball or make basic errors.
If you’re going to take away from fans the opportunity to see the best players compete, then the NRL should go the ‘Full Monty’ and serve up second rate rubbish across the spectrum.
The host broadcasters should be made to use second-string commentators. Tell Andrew Johns, Fatty Vautin, Gus Gould and Ray Warren to take a hike and bring in people who’ve never called a game on national TV before.
Let’s see what untried talent is out there. Maybe someone from a country station, or another country, or another sport? Surely it can’t be that hard to call a game of footy?
Same for Fox. Forget your slick commentary team and statistical diagnoses, we want a broadcast befitting the quality of teams.
Camera operators should be sourced from the trainee ranks. Time to blood some new talent – sure they may miss some of the play or wobble about on those segways, but surely this would be the time to experiment with the younger talent.
The Dragons-Storm clash has been robbed of quality. (AAP Image/Daniel Pockett)
The referees should be chosen only if they have no first grade experience. It’d bring a freshness to the contest – your first game, my first game kind of scenario.
Let’s some juniors from the lower grades get a chance to miss a forward pass or knock on. The Bunker too should be staffed by new people, perhaps grab some folk from SBS World Movies who are used to watching things slowly and endlessly and leave viewers confused at the end.
WIN Stadium, in honour of the quality of match participants, should ditch their usual high standards of haute cuisine and serve up the fish John West reject, along with the mangy chips and flat beer.
It’ll lend atmosphere and give punters the full understanding of ‘second rate’. The NSW Government could lend a hand by commissioning track work several hours before kick-off.
The NRL, known for its dedication to the fan experience and concern that punters and viewers get their money worth, should welcome these helpful suggestions and continue their policy of putting on games without most of the players fans want to see.
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