When I am not reading articles on The Roar or the form guide (Fridays and Saturdays), I enjoy the satirical musings of The Betoota Advocate.
Cadet writer Wendell Hussey, dropped one recently titled, “Australia’s Hopes for National Sporting Success Now Pinned on Wallabies”.
I laughed out loud reading the headline, and the following is inspired by Hussey’s fantastic article.
As Hussey’s headline implies, and as a result of Australia’s World Cup semi-final loss to England earlier, the Wallabies are our last chance for any success.
The Federation Cup in November is not considered I assume for the purposes of satire.
Anyway, I digress. If it’s not obvious, I laughed out loud because the Wallabies are at best roughies to win the Rugby World Cup and our ability to laugh at ourselves permits such literature.
However, after the humour subsided, I started to ponder the greater sporting landscape. I nearly fainted! The realisation hit me like a Richard Loe elbow, England will be playing none other than the Kiwis in the final at Lord’s.
Things only compounded when in the same breath I remembered the All Black are odds on to lift the Rugby World Cup later this year.
“WTF”, could New Zealand actually simultaneously hold the Cricket and Rugby World Cups? This is usually the domain of Australia. Such has been our past success that even when we don’t have one, we at least have the other.
It took a little while but I composed myself, breathe in, breathe out, slowly. It was almost too much.
“What could be worse?”
“Really?”, I thought to myself.
England is also in the Cricket World Cup final. They even have the advantage of home, playing the final at Lord’s, making their chances of victory more probable.
The Rugby World Cup on the other hand, with the wily Eddie Jones at the helm of the Red Roses anything is possible. Their squad won’t be too shabby either, I rate them a better chance than the Wallabies.
The impact of the awareness that England is also a chance to hold both cups, was in stark contrast to a Richard Loe elbow, not immediate. That type of success for the English would be something new, for us as much as them.
Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad but I came to my senses and a feeling of impending doom.
Now it’s all getting too much. Trump’s the president, China is probably the major power, Brexit, video games are a sport, Mitchell Pearce won an Origin series – and now this!
So, what would be worse, New Zealand or England as world champions in both rugby and cricket?
I admire the sportsmanship the Kiwis exemplify in the way they play cricket. It would be nice to see the nice guys win and they have been a consistently good ODI side.
On the other hand, the All Blacks, oh I hate them so much! They are always naughty, never nice or playing within the rules. Was Richie McCaw ever onside?
The English, I preferred them when they had a South African for a captain. They were more likeable. The Cricket World Cup itself, who gave it to them in the first place? It’s had more rain than a Northern Territory wet season.
Rugby-wise, the last thing the poor Japanese people need to hear is the incessant singing of “Swing low, Sweet chariot”. So, for the sake of the Japanese populace, the sooner they are home the better.
Where does that leave us?
Either nation winning both would be a disaster. I hear enough “primo” and “brilliant” when they talk about our superior weather and lifestyle after migrating here for that same weather and lifestyle.
So, in conclusion, I hope the Kiwis win the CWC. For the Rugby World Cup, I will support the Wallabies and any team playing the All Blacks. Your thoughts?