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The groundskeepers of the colding North breathe a sigh of relief. The churning and burning of grass beneath angry feet has ceased. Seats will get fresh coats of paint. The corners of the rooms where beer troughs lie will be bleached.
Analysts finally have a body of data to undress and spin into yarns of half truth. Myths have grown whilst other reputations have diminished.
In muddled rooms of coaching fervor, the deans of rugby divine what they believe they think has just been revealed, seeking some gnostic riddle in the shape of a lineout, a crease in the umbrella defence, a lag in the rush of the high line, a hesitancy on the bind or a tendency to tip the type of throw.
But looking strictly at November of 2022, what would our Team of the Autumn International Series be?
Caveats: whilst it would be simple to study my four prior teams of the week and reward sheer numbers of mention, it would not be wise. One dismal performance can be cause for disqualification. This is Test footy.
Also, no strict calibration can be done using the team records. For example, Taulupe Faletau was outstanding for a misfiring team. To be good in a bad team is hard; to play No. 8 well in a beaten pack is nigh impossible.
Thus, he will get equal consideration as the brilliant Caelan Doris, who won the Test against the Springboks in one superlative and opportunistic moment of handling on the touchline, but was seldom on the back foot in his team’s campaign.
Finally, statistics can confirm quality, but in rugby can be particularly deceiving (Josh van der Flier can miss a few tackles but be so far upfield on an incursion it makes his mates’ cleanup simple; Siya Kolisi can also miss too many but has a wildly high percentage of dominant tackles leading to turnovers or counter rucks). We have to look behind some of the numbers.
Loosehead prop
At times James Slipper seemed like he was carrying the world on his shoulders. Most of the time he kept his balance, but against Wales it seemed a mile too far. Ox Nche tortured the big French and English tightheads and gained confidence in the carry. If feisty Andrew Porter were a porter, he would carry you and your car to valet parking. But it is young All Black heavyweight Ethan de Groot who grew the most this autumn. Porter on the bench.
Owen Farrell of England interacts with Ethan de Groot of New Zealand . (Photo by Warren Little/Getty Images)
Hooker
Malcolm Marx picked his spots over the ball and continues to be ten handfuls in the carry. Codie Taylor reminded the New Zealand selectors of his enduring class, but 25-year old Samisoni Frank Simpson Taukei’aho may have taken the Tongan Thor tagline from Taniela Tupou. Still, the leading rake in this series was eighty-minute athlete Dan Sheehan of the number one Irish.
Tighthead
Tadgh Furlong showed yet another skill: the 50 metre punt. He can pass off either hand, step like he is in dressage, and power through all the core requisites, too. All the other tightheads are just vying for the bench. Allan Alaalatoa has no quit, but came unstuck a few times. Tyrell Lomax and Nepo Laulala were engines of All Black improvement. But it is the often overlooked but seldom mastered Frans Malherbe (who has upped his tackle and carry numbers) who is player number eighteen.
Lock No. 4
Eben Etzebeth strode as a scowling colossus this year, but with increasing offloads, try assists, kick chase, and defensive organisation. His final duel at Twickenham was a mismatch. Brodie Retallick is his understudy, after spending much of their careers vice versa.
Lock No. 5
James Ryan was even better than before. He has found his footing in Andy Farrell’s scheme, or perhaps has just learnt to almost match Paul O’Connell’s manic intensity. He is pushed by Nick Frost, Maro Itoje, Sam Whitelock and Richie Gray; but it is the slim-hipped lineout athlete Ryan at 5.
Blindside
Pieter-Steph du Toit was going great guns until Kwagga Smith shoved him into a red card ban. Franco Mostert filled in without a peep. Michael Leitch started well. Scott Barrett has his moments, and erased some of the semifinal stain. New Scottish captain James Ritchie deserves strong consideration, but still needs to learn moderation. But Charles Ollivon reminded us all that he was not long ago thought one of the best in the world.
Openside
Josh van der Flier does fly, and into all the right places. Dalton Papali’i made us ask: “Sam Who?” Kolisi was a bulwark for the Boks when they seemed young and outnumbered. However, Michael Hooper was renewed and made two of my Teams of the Week and the bench on another. He is worth a few points by himself.
No. 8
Ardie Savea was just as unlucky as Eben Etzebeth not to be named in the short list for Player of the Year, but at least he can look at Doris and Faletau (or Greg Alldritt) and understand why he was not picked. For me, Faletau’s series was the most impressive because of how much his team relied on him. Doris even misses out on the bench because Papali’i was a force of nature.
Scrumhalf
Lippy Nic White would have a stronger claim had he played more minutes. Zippy Jamison Gibson-Park was in the same boat. Nippy Ali Price was a big reason for Scotland’s scoring renaissance. But it was the veterans from the South who eclipsed Antoine Dupont (who we must point out, struggled against Australia and South Africa): Aaron Smith and Faf de Klerk, who play the position as polar opposites.
Flyhalf
Johnny Sexton is the best flyhalf in the world at the moment, but one wonders if his shelf life is months, not years. Richie Mo’unga and Damian Willemse had their moments, but cool Finn Russell takes the bench spot behind the Great Irish Hope.
Left Wing
Emiliano Boffelli had a stellar year off the tee. But giant Duhan van der Merwe and wee Kurt-Lee Arendse offered more in actual winger play. Arendse takes it by a centimetre.
Inside Centre
Damian de Allende is so reliable everyone forgets him. The Irish have four or five midfielders of quality and split time. Owen Farrell had this shirt fitted and named on the back for him until the Bok match. It is iron cheekbone Jonathan Danty who impressed most.
Outside Centre
Jesse Kriel was an able deputy for Lukhanyo Am, depressing Gael Fickou and Manu Tuilagi. George North rolled back the years. But Len Ikitau was the glue of the Wallaby backline. He hardly put a foot wrong in a very wrong-footed season.
Len Ikitau of Australia is tackled by Jack Crowley, left, and Tadhg Furlong of Ireland during the Bank of Ireland Nations Series match between Ireland and Australia at the Aviva Stadium in Dublin. (Photo By David Fitzgerald/Sportsfile via Getty Images)
Right Wing
Darcy Graham and Cheslin Kolbe are terrifying terriers. But Damian Penaud took on three tacklers and shed them to win a Test. He was tough all the time.
Fullback
Thomas Ramos is classy and not just a boot. But Willie le Roux was one of the best players in the entire series: inventive, combative, accurate and a leader. Typically, a utility back (number 23) is picked from fullbacks, and here we will go with the 12-15 hybrid Jordie Barrett.
Congratulations to all those picked.
Ethan de Groot (NZ), Dan Sheehan (Ireland), Tadhg Furlong (Ireland), Eben Etzebeth (SA), James Ryan (Ireland), Charles Ollivon (France), Michael Hooper (Australia), Taulupe Faletau (Wales), Aaron Smith (NZ), Johnny Sexton (Ireland), Kurt-Lee Arendse (SA), Jonathan Danty (France), Len Ikitau (Australia), Damian Penaud (France), Willie le Roux (SA).
Bench: Samisoni Taukei’aho (NZ), Andrew Porter (Ireland), Frans Malherbe (SA), Brodie Retallick (NZ), Dalton Papali’i (NZ), Faf de Klerk (SA), Finn Russell (Scotland), Jordie Barrett (NZ).
Join The Roar rugby editor Christy Doran, former Wallaby Matt Toomua and a cast of regular and special guests as they look at the biggest issues in the game on The Roar Rugby Podcast. If you’re looking for great odds on the next game check out Aussie bookmaker PlayUp. Chances are you’re about to lose. Set a deposit limit.