Roar Guru
It’s AFL grand final time, and many are looking forward to the big stoush featuring Australian Rules’ two best sides.
Nearly 100,000 people will be crammed into the ‘G’, and millions more in Australia and Nauru will be fixated on the action.
We’ll bypass the intermediate finals talk of who will win and the terms WAGS, glitter and red carpet and get down to business.
Most will be focused on the action on field, however there will be some out there who have only a casual interest in AFL. You are the people we’re focusing on here today.
It’s true that betting increases interest in any game. So does alcohol.
Please accept The AFL Grand Final 2015 Drinking Game for your consideration.
Step 1
Purchase a very cheap, generic beer. Recommended is Powers Gold or any 30 pack of cans. Even better, pick up some cleanskins. Why not add a little mystery to the shindig?
The worse the beer, the bigger the punishment, and it’s all about punishment today. You are likely to need at least half a carton per man.
Step 2
Choose a side to support and a seating apparatus that suits.
Step 3
Decide on the ‘penalty nip vessel’. This could be a standard nip glass, port glass, a precise half egg cup, a half clean Vegemite jar, or whatever else. We suggest and recommend the precise half egg.
Step 4
Hand out the following punishments based on events during the game.
An opposition goal – 1 x penalty nip
An opposition goal outside 50 – 2 x penalty nips
Your team kicks a behind (except a rushed behind) – 1 x penalty nip
Your team concedes a rushed behind – 3 x penalty nips
Your team hits the post (either behind or no score) – 2 x penalty nips
Your team gives away a free kick – 1 x penalty nip
Your team gives away a 50 metre free – 4 x penalty nips
Your team is caught holding the ball – yell the mandatory ‘ball’ then add another penalty nip.
Your team kicks out on the full – 2 x penalty nip
Ball up – 1 x penalty nip (both teams)
Step 5
In the event of the other team needing to take a penalty nip, please yell ‘Drink up Eagle/Hawk!’
Past trials of this game have proven that the side that wins doesn’t always reflect the score lines on the day or the headache the next day.
So there’s a sturdy back up plan for those who love their AFL and in particular grand final day. Support a side that never makes the big dance to avoid Sunday hangovers.