Growing up in the heartland of Australian Rules footy, way back when today’s football was better known as soccer, the round ball code was often referred to as wogball, a sissy sport and ‘Shocker’, among other names and labels.
Today, the World Game has indeed become a rather mainstream sport Down Under, thanks largely to the ever growing A-League movement, which is now well entrenched in the Aussie sporting landscape.
Nonetheless, today, as was the case back then, the army of round ball code detractors down south – and no doubt a similar scenario exists north of the border in Rugby heartland – often still refer to one of soccer’s (oops, I mean football’s) so-called flaws. That is, the lack of goals scored during a game.
We loyal disciples of the beautiful game, however, know full well that the low-scoring nature of the game is in fact a part of its mass appeal. The steady, and at times tense, buildup before the collective energy of the tribe explodes as the ball finally hits the back of the net, releasing unbridled celebration right round the stadium, and in other parts of the city, country and the world.
There’s nothing quite like it. Right? Nothing.
However, watching history being made in this morning’s first semi-final in the 2014 World Cup, when Germany scored five goals within the opening half hour and went on to record an astonishing 7-1 win over Brasil, it got me thinking.
If you had to compare apples to oranges, how many AFL goals would be equivalent to a solitary football goal?
In my opinion, if a team was to score six goals in a match, it would be unheard of. A true rarity. Let alone the seven that Germany scored earlier today. It does happen, but it’s almost as seldom as Billy Brownless saying not to a ‘frothy’ or Eddie McGuire having a day off from any football, media or business commitment.
Rare as hen’s teeth, right? But it does happen.
In AFL scoring terms, that’s then equivalent to a 180-point scoreline. For those who aren’t familiar with the AFL code – do such people exist in Australia, even in NSW? – a goal in footy is worth six points. This translates to 30 goals even.
Therefore, a goal in football is probably the equivalent of 30 points in AFL or five goals.
So, putting it into an AFL context, could you imagine the Geelong Cats slamming five goals in one attempt past a hapless and disjointed Hawthorn Hawks? What would be the reaction?
Everyone would be going out and celebrating as though it was the turn of the Millennium New Year’s Eve again. They might even collectively paint their hair the same colour as their flamboyant mayor, Darren Lyons.
Getting back to more serious matters, five AFL goals to one football goal is not the correct answer. Rather, it purely forms part of an opinion. A differing view.
In much the same way that two people, who could be standing next to each other and watching the same game, might see the match from a completely different perspective, this hypothetical will no doubt open up an interesting discussion.
After all, it’s the different opinions and viewpoints and the match related discussions that ensue – that could last hours, days and even months – which make football or whatever you would like to call it, the greatest game in the world.
Much to the envy of all those haters of the beautiful game.
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