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Australian cricketers may be distracted by the dollar

Roar Guru
14th October, 2010
20
1381 Reads

Some of our cricketers are giving mothers a bad name. What is it about these largely overpaid and gratuitous athletes that make them hide behind their mothers’ aprons? Before the 2003 World Cup in South Africa, Warne blamed his mum for giving him the slimming pills.

The 2009 Ashes saw a fallout between Johnson and his mom. To be fair, it was probably his mum seeking attention from the media.

Now Haydos has said his statement, “he is an obnoxious weed,” should really have been, “a noxious weed.” Launching his new book, ‘Standing my Ground’, he says his mother, who “is a master of English,” corrected him.

Harbhajan will be relieved he is not obnoxious and the man-love between the two is strengthened by their participation in the IPL.

Are all these warriors really little mummy’s boys after all?

How many of the current Australian cricket team can blame their mum’s for the two Ashes losses in England and the inability to put India away last week?

Michael Clarke seems to have a fetish for underwear. He has modeled Bonds undies big enough to catch three tennis balls. He is now seeing underwear model Kyly Boldy. Understandable, then, that he forgot to put his foot behind the popping crease.

So we cannot really blame his mother here.

Marcus North could perhaps blame his batting coach Justin Langer. There is some history here and we need to go back to 2009 when Langer said he would like to captain WA.

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This is what North said then: “But we have moved on. He had his chance to captain the state for four years and it is a great honour and privilege that I received that after him.”

This also raises the question of the worth of Langer as a batting coach. And also Nielsen’s role. I am waiting for the support cast to start alluding to their mothers as an excuse for the team’s hot-cold performance.

Michael Hussey can blame “mother” James Sutherland, who said it was “a fine line” between the dictates of Test cricket and an “elite” competition like the Champions League.

Please, Mr. Sutherland, spin us another. Or at least find us a spinner!

Shane Watson had the chance to put Australia in a commanding position yesterday, but was dismissed after scoring 50. He may well be stressed because his IPL team Rajasthan has been shown the door. The Royals, reportedly, were set to retain him for 2 million dollars for the next IPL.

That is a lot of conflicting reasons when you have a Test match to focus on. So we can excuse his mother in this instance.

You may have gathered by now that a lot of this is tongue in cheek, but the fact remains that some Australian cricketers could be focusing on money to the detriment of performing.

The most disappointing aspect is once again the leadership, or lack of it, shown by Cricket Australia. Sutherland’s statement yesterday will be seen by some as “ground reality,” but in essence it is giving in to the dictates of TV broadcasters.

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For those that may not be aware, Jack Clarke, John Bannon and Andrew Hilditch are currently in Bangalore, sampling the hospitality of the BCCI.

The bright lights seem too much for these otherwise worldly men.

Prepare yourself, dear readers, for this brave new world. A world devoid of the valour of Steve Waugh against Curtly Ambrose. A world poorer because gladiators like Laxman and Ponting will be relegated to the occasional cameo of Test cricket.

The future stories of cricket will not be about a test of character. Coaches and administrators, even Saint Bennett, are single-minded about the “brand”. CA calls the three forms brands. If cricket is now a brand then consumers will exercise the right to look for “home brands” that are just as functional and in many cases the same product.

Suddenly the under thirteen’s cricket game at Castle Cove Oval looks very appealing.