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You sneaky sods! It was a shocking revelation that England’s kicking-coach was switching balls between the tries scored and conversions taken.
The transgressions occurred during the first half of England’s 67-3 drubbing of Romania on 24 September. The guilty culprits confessed their part in the ball-switching saga, namely kicking coach David Alred and strength trainer Paul Stridgeon.
England’s bosses claim that the Pommy perpetrators “mistakenly thought that there was an issue with some of the match balls.”
And anyone who believes that is twice the mug these blokes are.
Let’s back the bus up to England’s Rugby World Cup opener against Argentina on September 10. The Poms escaped with a narrow victory, 13-9.
Jonny Wilkinson had a shocker that day, missing five consecutive attempts, which, for Jonny-boy is unheard of. Woeful Wilkinson was at a loss to explain his uncharacteristic inaccuracy.
And a debate over the kick-ability of the official Rugby World Cup match-balls ensued.
Moving on; as expected, England trounced Georgia on September 18 and notched up six tries in the process. Toby Flood nailed four conversions and a penalty.
Notably, Jonny Wilkinson was sideline that day. Penance for his previous poor performance.
Moving along, 24 September arrives and Martin Johnson affords dearest Jonny starting rights against Romania. The heat is on him to perform.
And the match unfolds something like this;
– 2mins: Wilkinson nails a penalty goal. It’s going to be a good day.
– 10mins: Wilkinson attempts a penalty kick for touch, but misses. Good day? Maybe not.
– 16min: Mark Cueto scores his first of three tries. Wilkinson misses the conversion. Crap! “Hey lads, next time switch the ball with one I can kick.”
– 22mins: Cueto scores his second of three tries. Wilkinson nails this one. “Nice switch lads.”
– 27mins: Cueto scores try number three: Can’t switch the ball, the referee is watching. Wilkinson misses. Bugger!
– 32mins: Chris Ashton scores his first of three: “Switch the ball lads.” Wilkinson nails it.
– 35mins: Ashton scores try number two: “Switch the ball lads.” Wilkinson nails it.
– 40mins: Half-time, and Wilkinson is subbed off. Nod and a wink to his able accomplices.
So Jonny’s partners in crime were twice warned by referee Romain Poite and ceased the ball-switching antics after half-time, which not coincidently, corresponds with Jonny’s departure.
So here’s the thing. This is clearly a case of deliberate, pre-meditated cheating.
It was a cunning, calculated plan hatched by Mr Wilkinson and his willing accomplices to unfairly advantage England’s kicker off the tee. How could it be seen any other way?
Yet in investigating their own, England’s bosses (RFU) have managed to fob a blatant case of cheating off as a ‘mistake’ on the part of two accomplices, while the main perpetrator walks free.
Says the RFU,
“Having conducted a thorough internal review of the matter, the RFU has determined two members of the RFU RWC 2011 team management, David Alred and Paul Stridgeon, mistakenly thought that there was an issue with some of the match balls used in the England v Romania RWC 2011 match. Those team management members took it upon themselves to substitute balls during the match…”
Stop there. No explanation is provided as to exactly what the so-called ‘issue’ was with the match balls as the basis of the illegal ball-switching.
This is dodgy. Think about it. What reason could there possibly be except Wilkinson’s personal objection to kicking them? And remarkably, the Rugby World Cup authority brought the shallow findings hook, line and sinker.
“RWCL recognizes that the RFU has investigated this matter fully and taken appropriate action and therefore no further action is required by RWCL. RWCL accepts the RFU’s assurances that it will abide by both the Laws and the Spirit of the Game going forward, however it must be pointed out that any similar breaches in future will be dealt with severely.”
How relieved is Jonny Wilkinson ‘OBE’ right now? Go buy a Lotto ticket Jonny. It’s your lucky day.
For the so-called ‘breach,’ Wilkinson’s accomplices have been banned from Eden Park for England’s showdown against Scotland this weekend.
Meanwhile, dearest Jonny roams free and squeaky clean. Even to the point of being named to start against the Scots in the Pool-defining match.
But I wonder if Jonny will spare a thought for his collared accomplices while he’s out there – on Eden Park that is.
Because there’s only one thing worse than being indebted to one fall-guy.
That’s being indebted to two.
Join The Roar rugby editor Christy Doran, former Wallaby Matt Toomua and a cast of regular and special guests as they look at the biggest issues in the game on The Roar Rugby Podcast. If you’re looking for great odds on the next game check out Aussie bookmaker PlayUp. Chances are you’re about to lose. Set a deposit limit.