In a fortnight which has seen Gold Coast fans have enough sand kicked in their face to exfoliate a thousand Willie Masons, it’s time to set the record straight with regards to sport on the coast with the most.
There are those out there who believe the Gold Coast is nothing more than an elephant’s graveyard of sporting franchises that should be stripped of its remaining teams.
An embarrassment they say, don’t even like sport, they say!
Well, let me tell you something about those people.
Firstly, if you think the city that counts Tania Zaetta, Joe Bugner and Warwick Capper as its biggest celebrities is going to be embarrassed over some crappy crowds then buddy you haven’t ever lined up at the ‘Bombora Burger Bar’ at Wet ‘n’ Wild.
Secondly, those people who want to boot all the Gold Coast’s teams into touch are probably the same short sighted people who think that sport is all about things like winning, trophies and crowd averages.
Child please.
What about the glitz? The glamour? The drama? Gold Coast teams have been providing this (and helicopters) since day dot and without them Australian sport would be some frumpy old ‘Sons and Daughters’ in studs rather than the sizzling sporting version of ‘The Strip’ we know today.
I mean, if it wasn’t for Michael Searle’s millions what the hell would we even be talking about this year? Nathan Merritt’s toe injury? Isaac De Gois’ bruised buttock? Chances are Searle only relented to the NRL’s constant moaning about bills and payments and sold his centre of awesomeness to his mate’s old man because the council wouldn’t give him approval to build a Batcave for it.
And what about marketing? Apparently it’s supposed to be a big deal in sports these days but here’s the coast rolling out brand new team names and colours every couple of years keeping things fresh for the kids, while those stuffy old Sydney clubs keep trotting out the same old club decade after decade. Talk about resting on your laurels.
When did everything get so serious? Sport’s meant to be fun isn’t it? Even the players have been bitten by the boring bug with Cooper Cronk choosing to pick culture over Cavill Ave, and now Dave Taylor trying to wiggle his fat arse out of a deal to coal power the Gold Coast’s new light rail system.
Well good I say. If they want to take shallow personal glory over putting on a show for the fans then maybe they’re just not GC material. Hey guys, maybe after slapping yourself on your meaty shoulder blades for making the finals you can go catch an A-League game in the newly discovered state of Western Sydney, or maybe head out for a wild weekend away in Brisbane’s Western corridor. Wherever that is.
No, GC fans don’t expect a whole lot; they’re the kid who has for most of his life woken up on Christmas morning only to receive an inflatable dog turd for a present. They are beyond being hurt by shoddy defences, disjointed attacks, crappy jerseys or ageing halfbacks.
All they expect is a good show, a little excitement, a bit of the old razzamatazz!
Sure they might not always show up in massive numbers when the surf’s cranking or Vanilla Ice is playing at Jupiters Casino, but don’t make the mistake of thinking that the Coast doesn’t love its sport.
The Gold Coast, quite frankly, adores its sport.
It just doesn’t happen to be very good at it.
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