Having sat through many miserable hours in the bowels of the SFS watching Sydney FC demonstrate their own unique interpretation of the beautiful game, I was not surprised to hear of flares being set off in the recent Sydney derby.
Many a time, during moments of extreme distress, I wished I had brought along some flares so I could get myself airlifted to the roof garden of the local tap house. There among the hipsters in a refreshingly TV-less environment I could take instagram pictures of my feet and discuss facial hair.
However, according to police reports the flares were not set off by a panic-induced Sydney FC supporter but one of our western neighbours.
As someone who rarely travels west of the David Jones food court, I have to say this was entirely predictable.
I have long been an ardent admirer of both the A-League and AFL for ignoring the cultural wasteland that lies at the end of the Parramatta Road. I openly boycotted this game, knowing full well that one of their supporters would probably key my Merc on their way home from the game.
Sure enough, the sinisterly named Red and Black Bloc – showing the passion that only three months’ of loyal support could bring – came to Moore Park and recklessly hurled dangerous flares onto our hallowed pitch.
The result? It created a light fluffy pink cloud that enveloped the savages for about a minute.
The press howled. The police issued stern statements.
Meanwhile, my mind was transfixed. A pink cloud? What did it mean? Was it a post-modernist take on cultural perceptions that perpetuate ethnic stereotypes? A bold statement juxtaposing the raw savage violence of the hooligan against a canvas of pink candy floss?
Or maybe I’m overthinking this one. I think it’s time for a craft beer and a lie down.
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