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The home of cricket, the highest profile contest in their calendar, and Australia chose that particular moment to produce a performance that shouldn’t live long in their memories, but will for all the wrong reasons.
I’ve witnessed some inept efforts over the years but that is up there with the finest, if that is the right choice of phrase.
No thought, no plan, no fortitude, no backbone, no application, nothing.
Ryan Harris is a notable exception and Peter Siddle probably deserves a mention in patches, but that’s about it.
There were two teams in attendance at St John’s Wood but only one of them was playing cricket and it most definitely wasn’t the tourists.
To be beaten is one thing, to be toyed with the manner of a cat playing with a recently caught rodent is another and to lose by such a considerable margin with a day to spare will only add to the embarrassment.
Michael Clarke’s men were outplayed to such a degree that is is bordering on the shocking to see how far they have slipped from the all-conquering outfit that used to routinely annihilate their English counterparts.
Obviously their showing at Trent Bridge a few days earlier was an aberration – my sincerest apologies for stating in last week’s article that ‘the Aussies aren’t as poor as some think’ – and Lord’s was the form book being well and truly played out.
Before the series began, anyone with any cricketing nous would have known that England had the superior players, they were in the better form and that their tag as favourites was well deserved.
They would also have noticed that Australia’s batting was a serious Achilles heel, they were in no form of any sort and that the bookies were rightly viewing them as underdogs.
Lord’s was the manifestation of all of the above.
There are myriad reasons for an empire crumbling – just where is a Roman historian when you need one? – but the most blatant in this case is the dearth of batsmen who meet the required standard.
The Aussies, in the shape of Clarke, have one player who is world class but only a couple more who could even be considered as being up to international cricket standard.
Shane Watson? He could, and should, be.
Chris Rogers? Maybe, but his calling has come too late.
Ed Cowan? No.
Usman Khawaja? He might be but not yet.
Phil Hughes? There are glimpses but consistency isn’t his friend.
Steve Smith? You’re having a laugh.
That is without mentioning David Warner who certainly has the ability but hasn’t surfaced as of yet.
That does not a successful Test match side make and until this problem is dealt with, what took place in North London will continue to occur.
It can be mightily difficult to reverse such a downturn in form and if England keep their foot on the gas it isn’t going to happen in this series.
No runs equals no positive results and as for the Ashes, even at such an early stage?
Game over.
On another point, with the kind of timing that eluded the national side’s batsmen, Cricket Australia chose the most inappropriate moment to release news of the Big Bash League.
Ignore the fact that a proliferation of the shortest form of the game has undoubtedly played a part in the shortcomings of those with bat in hand and just notice the unstated but bleedingly obvious notion that money-making has superseded cricketing excellence for Cricket Australia.
The country that used to have the most robust and productive domestic game in the world has jumped into bed, no questions asked, with the format that offers just that bit extra bit of proverbial cleavage.
And what you saw at Lord’s were the painful consequences of that ill-judged affair.