As a fan making the approximately 13,538 kilometre trek from Australia to Rio for the World Cup next year, the sight of us being placed in a ‘group of death’ was as exciting as finding a bathroom after a dozen schooners.
Now you might be thinking that no one can go 12 schooners without needing to ‘break the seal’,or alternatively that I’m one of those blokes who has some sort of anti-Socceroos agenda, but hear me out.
For those fans of the Socceroos not travelling to the Brazil to watch the occasional football game and test out the 12 schooner theory on a daily basis, let me just touch on some of the costs involved for the fans travelling.
Before even setting foot in South America, I will have spent upwards of $12,000.
Before the draw, the thousand percent mark up on seemingly everything World Cup related made the thought of possible match-ups with the likes Algeria or Russia as distressing as a full bladder faced with an occupied bathroom stall.
I was really beginning to question whether or not this trip would be worth it, but all my monetary concerns were categorically brushed aside when the draw happened.
When I set my alarm for 2:45am to drag myself out of bed to watch the ‘live action’, I thought the highlight of my night would be the low cut dress that host Fernanda Lima was wearing.
How wrong was I? The excitement built as I watched the drawn out introductions and entertainment, though most of that was Lima’s doing.
Once the seeds were drawn and South American and African contingent also accounted for, I was dreading the possibility of being placed in Group G with, at the time, Germany and Ghana.
A repeat of those two teams, just like in 2010, would have really made me question, albeit briefly, the decision to pay all this money to watch games I could see highlights of on YouTube from four years ago.
Then when I saw it was Fabio Cannavaro who was deciding our fate, I thought this had to be the ultimate stitch-up by renowned joke-smith and clown Sepp Blatter.
The man who captained the Italian side of 2006, who watched as Fabio Grosso theatrically fell in a heap after feeling the wind of a Lucas Neill challenge, who celebrated when Francesco Totti so emphatically knocked us out of the second round, was there to screw me again.
But he didn’t. My now second favourite Italian footballer (Alessandro Del Piero being the first) gave Australian football fans a gift.
Maybe it was to make up for ’06, maybe it wasn’t, but at the end of the day, travelling fans contemplating selling unnecessary bodily organs to afford the trip now have the opportunity to see the green and gold boys face up against the world’s truly elite.
Some would argue that it’s a ‘money can’t buy’ experience. (I wouldn’t – just have a look at my bank statement.)
Genuine football fans understand how lucky we are, but I’m under no illusions as to our chances.
If we’re being honest, everyone knows a third-string Spain side playing Vincent Del Bosque in midfield would still probably put four goals past us, but the beauty of football is that you never know what may happen.
I only know two things for sure about this World Cup. The first is that Australia will do us proud no matter what happens because we all know, under Ange Postecoglou, they will never give up.
And the other is that even though Brazilians will be charging like a wounded bull for services, a dozen schooners will still be cheaper in Porto Alegre than in Sydney.
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