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Four great NRL mysteries that remain unsolved

The Warriors cross the Ditch to take on the Panthers. (AAP Image/Action Photographics, Renee McKay)
Roar Guru
19th February, 2014
43
1893 Reads

If you look though Australia’s rich history you find quite a few mysteries that are baffling.

The Beaumont children. Frederick Valentich. Harold Holt. The baffling Taman Shud case in Adelaide.

Rugby league has some baffling mysteries of its own, and here are four surrounding the NRL that remain unsolved.

1. The Invisible Ray Warren
Channel Nine never show us Ray Warren during telecasts. He is the primary caller, yet we never see him.

He isn’t that ugly and I’m sure he wears clothes, but why he is kept hidden from us I’ll never know.

My theory? He is embarrassed that he has a statue of himself in Junee and that he admitted he was a careless gambler who lost a lot of money.

2. Waterboy coaches
NRL coaches aren’t allowed to shout out anything from the sidelines and are generally happy to sit up in a box. Now instead of coaching from the sidelines we have something more baffling, nay, horrifying – waterboy coaches dressed in fluoro!

During the State of Origin in 2013 there were several occasions where you could see three on one side. I’m not making this up – three trainers relaying messages to the players, and sometimes actual water.

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I’m just waiting for the day a try is botched because one of these fluoro morons got in the way. I have not tried to capture a leprechaun, but I do believe we can capture and eradicate these ugly nuisances.

3. Ban the shoulder charge, but no compulsory headgear?
The NRL wants to make the game safer so they’ve banned the shoulder charge – fair enough. But why not make headgear compulsory?

We see nasty head clashes almost weekly, and the effects of these and other head blows would be lessened if headgear was worn by all.

Many other sports have protective headwear. If the NRL is fair dinkum on this matter, they should consider enforcing the same.

4. Advertising overload
In American football they have a lot of breaks in play which naturally suit television commercials. Rugby league has nowhere near as many similar breaks in play so we suffer wall-to-ball-to-wall ads everywhere else.

Not content with the sole front sponsor of a jersey we saw in the 1980s, we now have ads above and below the number on the jersey. Ads under the front collar. Ads all over the field.

Ads on the ball, ads on the goalpost pads. Ads on the corner posts and the refs. Virtual ads that only the TV viewers see.

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Ads on the front and rear of shorts. Socks themselves have become ads for various charities or causes including ‘Papua New Guinea for the QRL’ by the Broncos last year.

Now the Raiders logo is no longer a viking – it’s an enormous Huaweii red flower on the damn jersey!

My final mystery? How my fellow fans stomach this rot…

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