Such has been the disinterest shown by the mainstream media, you’d be forgiven for not knowing that the Cricket World Cup is still going on, right in your back yard.
It’s been poorly covered for an Australia hosted, dominated and truly worldwide event, but if you’re reading this you’re already in the right place.
The Roar has been the best place to keep up to date with the competition from day one, and with the World Cup reaching its climax in the coming days you’d be foolish to go anywhere else. But I digress.
As the 2015 Cricket World Cup comes to an end it’s time to take a peek at the cream that has risen to the top (that is, the teams on either side of the Tasman) as well as the rancid swill that has sank to the bottom.
Batting
There were concerns coming into the World Cup that the dynamic of cricket and life itself had shifted away from bowlers, as bigger bats would give batsmen a distinct advantage on smaller grounds.
The highest score from the previous World Cup, 370, has been bettered seven times so far this tournament with big matches still to come. But maybe we should be giving the bowlers a helping hand, after all a close game is an exciting game.
In cricket there are two sides of the wicket to bowl from, and with ODI regulations allowing two new balls each innings. Perhaps the time is right to allow two bowlers to bowl simultaneously. The only thing better than seeing Glenn Maxwell reverse sweep a bowler for six would be seeing Glenn Maxwell reverse sweep two bowlers for six.
DRS
The sultan of subtlety Shane Warne was his usual outspoken self when he slammed India for being the only country to still refuse the decision review system, even by December 2014. However for 2015’s edition of the World Cup the Indian cricket team have not been given the option to decline the DRS.
In their cutthroat quarter-final match against Bangladesh, the greatest cheer of the day – louder than that of a century to opener Rohit Sharma – came when Suresh Raina was referred not out when reviewed for LBW. Turns out the Indians really love DRS.
Zinger bails
There’s been some talk lately that – somehow – bails are a problem that urgently needs to be addressed. Guilty of costing bowlers wickets, responsible for the national deficit and melting the polar ice caps, zinger bails had the Channel Nine commentary team up in arms when “our boys” were denied a wicket after a Josh Hazlewood trundler clipped the leg stump. ‘
Allegedly the extra weight in the bails – from LEDs, batteries and plastic – has proven the bails harder to dislodge than their timber counterparts. The king of spin, Colonel Harland Sanders, has reassured me that these zinger bails are in no way affiliated with the spicy chicken item, and from the outside the ICC appears to have missed a beat.
Marketed properly, KFC could pay to replace the bails with chicken zinger fillets. Zinger sales would go through the roof, bails would be flying willy nilly, and the ICC could introduce a rule where dismissed batsmen would be forced to eat the bails before departing.
Cricket, and surrealism, would be the winner.
Associate nations
The World Cup has always been enhanced by the inclusion of associate teams. Sort of. Not really. I’ll explain. The 10 international Test teams enjoy automatic qualification to the World Cup, while the rest – the associate nations – battle it out to mix it with the best.
And historically, that’s about it. In 2011 the associate nations were chewed up and spat out by all the big dogs of the tournament, New Zealand even bowling Kenya out for 69 before limping to a 10-wicket victory. The ICC have made no effort to conceal their intentions to make the next World Cup a Test-side only competition – reducing the amount of pointless wins, and maximising blockbusters (profits).
But this year, they’ve been better. Ireland just missed out on finals, and Afghanistan scored a memorable first World Cup win against Scotland (ok, they were garbage).
Calls for the next World Cup to continue to include these sides has been loud, but associate teams should think bigger. A country with an abundance of mad scientists and money – for argument’s sake Russia – need to quite literally create a team of clones. A spate of batsmen with the bludgeoning ability of AB de Villiers complemented by bowlers who can hoop it like Mitchell Starc would really show the Test sides where to stick it.
Commentators have argued for months however that this team already exists, going by the name ‘New Zealand’.
England
Australia thought they had warned everyone of their credentials with a crushing win over the English, only for England to turn out to be utterly rubbish. Defeats to Sri Lanka, New Zealand, and worst of all Bangladesh had social media in hysterics about “the real minnows”.
Ultimately, the English Cricket Board must decide whether they want their team to be really good or really bad. England has a proven track record in producing a fine stable of comedians, there’s no reason the England cricket team shouldn’t come to that party.
The Cricket World Cup has less than week to run before 11 players are crowned heroes and immortalised with a $24.99 commemorative DVD, while the losers are respectfully incinerated in the MCG cricket flamethrowers.
The real work for the ICC will begin the later in the week, when they start planning for World Cup 2019. There are some questions that need addressing ahead of the next tournament, and the answers are right here.
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