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The Wests Tigers would like to take this opportunity to address the persistent factual innuendo surrounding Jason Taylor and Robbie Farah.
Contrary to rumours emerging directly from the club, there is no highly-caustic spat occurring between Taylor, our head coach, and Farah, our highly, highly expensive reserve grade hooker.
To all concerned members, sponsors and stakeholders, we give you this unconditional assurance; the pair can exist in the same room without clawing out each other’s eyeballs and swinging them around by the retinal artery like a rally towel.
While the pair have endured a small number of acute disagreements, their discord has been far from terminal.
Differences of opinion are completely natural in a candid and indelicate environment like a rugby league club. After all, it can be a rough habitat of competition where tempers can fray. Not everyone is exactly sexting each other all the time.
That’s why two desperately power-hungry men like Farah and Taylor are not the first guys in rugby league to cat-fight in the papers on a weekly basis, and they certainly won’t be the last.
But despite a few minor cataclysmic differences of opinion, both have vowed to put the club’s interests first by remaining professional in the face of each other’s attempts to undermine the others career.
Following the coach’s decision to sequester the Blues hooker in reserve grade and the media speculation that followed, both parties were called in to front the board and clear the air. Besides some robust discourse and one small laceration that should heal by Thursday, these talks were highly successful.
After we assured Taylor of his position and convinced Farah he wasn’t the first bloke to be dropped to reggies, both gave emphatic endorsements for their working future by agreeing that their aloof acquaintance was fiercely tenable.
In addition, the coach gave his unreserved support to the hooker for the coming season by confirming that the 247-game legend is a contracted player who will remain at the club for 2017, provided he can be tranquilised.
The coach’s praise for the Origin stalwart didn’t stop there, stating that his massive back-ended deal is worth every cent thanks to his profound influence on the team, an influence most notably felt during his absence when everyone gets along like a house on fire.
As for Farah, his position on their relationship was just as resounding.
While acknowledging the pair had disagreed the last time they spoke, he voiced his thorough appreciation for the personal touch Taylor brings to their relationship. He cited his attendance at lower-grade games by video, while also lauding the hands-on approach he’s taken to annihilating his career.
In regards to his 250th game, Farah acknowledged he was disappointed his demotion scuppered the opportunity to play this in perfect circumstances on a Sunday afternoon at Leichhardt Oval, but selflessly accepted it probably wouldn’t have gone ahead anyway due to “logistical barriers”.
(The club can’t afford crepe paper).
Following these encouraging discussions and their amicable resolution between the pair, the administration decided against fining Farah $900,000 for his comments following last Saturday’s reserve grade game.
This highly-productive meeting between Taylor and Farah leaves the club in no doubt that the pair enjoy the harmonious collaboration of a well-tuned music act. Just like Simon and Garfunkel.
Wests Tigers trust this public endorsement of their hormonal alliance is enough to bury the persistent media speculation for the immediate future, or at the very least, until the release of the next team selection.
Once again, the club would like to confirm Jason Taylor has the full backing of the administration, while Robbie Farah will remain a man this club owes a great debt. A really bloody great back-ended debt.
So everyone can shut up now because everything is rosy. Real, real rosy.
Who knows? We might even offer Farah a contract extension.