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Facing the prospect of a 3-0 whitewash at home, Australia headed to the Day/Night Test in Adelaide with more new players than they knew what to do with.
Eventually, they decided it’d probably be best to play most of them.
Here are the ratings for the Third Test.
Faf du Plessis
Grade: C+
Faf du Plessis came into the Test under the cool, refreshing cloud of MintGate. Inexplicably, he didn’t offer the match referee a mint at the toss, which felt like a basic comedy mistake.
Still, he did win the toss and elected to make an unbeaten century as revenge for all the criticism he’d copped from the media and the booing crowd. He then declared at 9/259 solely in order to irritate David Warner by denying him the opportunity to open. So, all things considered, a solid day for the skipper.
Usman Khawaja
Grade: A
Despite Jackson Bird’s obvious credentials, Usman Khawaja was chosen to open the batting with newcomer Matt Renshaw. The pair saw Australia through to stumps on that first day, a remarkable feat in and of itself.
And yet, although they saw off a tricky evening session without losing a wicket, the makeshift openers seemed to not be playing their natural game. Or batting with intent. A poor and un-Australian performance.
While Renshaw fell early on the second day, Khawaja batted on, forging strong partnerships first with Steve Smith (59) and then with Pete Handscomb (54). Handsomb was an instant success at Test level, and looks certain to play the rest of the summer for Australia. Will this cost Victoria the Sheffield Shield? Probably. Classic New South Wales conspiracy move.
At one stage, Khawaja threatened to khawarry his bat, but was eventually the seventh wicket to fall, LBW to Philander for 145, as Australia hit their way to 383 in their first innings.
Streaking
Grade: D
Trailing by 124 runs on the first innings, South Africa set to work wiping off the deficit. It was tough going for the visitors, with the Australians chipping in with regular wickets from the seamers until night owl and former Adelaide man-about-town Nathan Lyon sprang to partying life late on Day Three with three quick wickets.
The backbone of the innings was a century by Stephen Cook. I’d say more about his hundred, but I’ve already forgotten everything about it. Still, I’m sure it was lovely.
No, the actual highlight of the South African second innings was a streaker who ran onto the field during the evening session. Reliable sources have confirmed that there is absolutely no truth to the rumour that this invasion was a desperate attempt by Joe Mennie to rejoin the squad.
Nevertheless, people. If you must streak at the cricket, at least co-ordinate it with half a dozen mates scattered around the ground. That’s just common sense. Let’s make Security work for it, okay?
Renshaw’s Brother
Grade: B-
With South Africa all out early Day Four, Australia needed 127 to win. Renshaw and Warner strode to the crease to begin the chase with all eyes, naturally, on Renshaw’s brother.
Of all the selections for this Test, Renshaw’s brother had the biggest shoes to fill, following Callum Ferguson’s brother’s magnificent storm-out during the Hobart Test.
The Channel Nine cameras zoomed in on him and the rest of the family to do that thing they do where they check whether the family is listening to them via the headphones and then communicate with them using primitive hand gestures as if they were Ben Stokes or that chimp who knows sign language.
I was in Adelaide for a couple of days of the Test and I must confess, I spent my entire time there nodding and thumbs up-ing to nobody just on the off-chance the commentators thought I was somebody’s brother and I was on camera, being asked questions. Sure, I looked like a damn fool but I felt it was worth it.
Nevertheless, I don’t expect a call-up. The selectors have gone with Renshaw’s brother. Important now that they stick with him and give him a chance to consolidate his spot rather than chopping and changing.
The Chase
Grade: A-
Renshaw’s brother’s brother, Matt Renshaw, meanwhile, was attempting to win the Test match. His plan? An unusual one for recent Australian cricketers – to not get out.
As Warner clobbered the ball around like a bludgeoning maniac, Renshaw locked down his end, playing and missing but refusing to actually be dismissed. Eventually Warner became sufficiently antsy that he called upon Bavuma to run him out again.
The commentators immediately began explaining that Renshaw would have to learn to take stupid singles because Warner needed a lot of the strike. If Renshaw couldn’t rotate the strike back to Warner, then there wasn’t much of a future for him, they declared.
Alternatively, perhaps Warner could learn to suck it up if he had to go an over or two without facing a ball.
But while some commentators focused on the negatives of Renshaw tediously occupying the crease long enough for Australia to win, Shane Warne took a more positive view.
“The selectors have done a very good job,” suggested Warne. “Trevor Hohns was brilliant. Mark Waugh also selected with great flair. The future looks bright. In fact, have South Africa ever beaten Australia? Maybe. Maybe not. Who remembers..”
So say we all, Shane. So say we all.