Mitchell Pearce ignores advice and ‘goes there’ on Roosters’ crowd numbers

Dane Eldridge Columnist

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    Mitchell Pearce has provocatively made mention of Roosters crowd numbers, despite receiving specific warnings as to the topic’s sensitivity in a brief from advisers.

    With tensions simmering in the approach to Sunday’s highly anticipated homecoming against his former club, the Newcastle playmaker was urged to “not mention the war”, with a specific section included in the brief in all-capital letters demanding he “DON’T UPSET POLITIS.”

    The directive was served to Pearce as a reminder of the volatility around the subject of Roosters’ attendances, a long-time cultural sensitivity for the foundation club that has generated constant memes at their expense since 1908.

    Advisers initially decided against gagging the former Rooster, believing he would be mindful of stigmatising a club he departed less than five months ago. Then they recalled how he once thought it wise to sledge Johnathan Thurstonand make love to a puppy.

    As such, Pearce was instructed to refuse all questions about attendances, with a strict directive issued to only discuss sanitised topics such as “the boys” and “shapes.”

    But despite pleading from his aides, he ignored the advice and insultingly called for a “good crowd” before mentioning how the Newcastle team “seem to get a lot more than the Roosters fans.”

    The wholly accurate comparative ranking from Pearce has plunged the two clubs in to a diplomatic crisis, with the Roosters threatening to impose sanctions on the Knights such as extraditing their large number of expats, or providing shitty parking for Sunday.

    Mitchell Pearce

    (Photo by Tony Feder/Getty Images)

    The reaction by Roosters supporters to Pearce has also been swift and brutal, who despite suffering through his drunken incidents derailing seasons and AWOL performances in crunch matches, are considering his factual observation as the final straw.

    Some fans have condemned his ignorant slur on attendances as one that further stigmatises their club as one “so rich it doesn’t care”, while others are directing their law firms to concentrate on suing his next three generations of family.

    Roosters fans will also seek an injunction to rewrite the club’s history books to hold him responsible for the one-marker policy and the signing of Willie Mason, because you “just don’t go there.”

    Additionally, all historical newspaper mountings in the club featuring Pearce will be rewritten as “the time he bummed a smoke from Craig Coleman to torch his 2013 premiership jersey.”

    While acknowledging this could be a slight over-reaction to a blase and probably unintentional one-liner from a former favourite son, a spokesperson for the fans asserted that “if you take everything out of context, you’ll see he always hated the Roosters.”

    “Despite representing the club in 238 games, steering them to a premiership and declaring he never wanted to leave, he always wanted to leave” the spokesperson said.

    “He used and abused this club, and then callously abandoned us with nothing more than an all-time legendary halfback.”

    Dane Eldridge
    Dane Eldridge

    Dane was named best and fairest in the 2004 Bathurst mixed indoor cricket competition. With nothing in the game left to achieve, he immediately retired at his peak to a reclusive life ensconced in the velvet of organised contests. Catch the man on Twitter @eld2_0.

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    The Crowd Says (21)

    • March 22nd 2018 @ 1:18pm
      PGNEWC said | March 22nd 2018 @ 1:18pm | ! Report

      Oh come on Newie is a city soon to have light rail and maybe even a couple of shops again — the earthquake was only 30 years ago–( it takes time) with a chaotic rough as guts league team compared to the Eastern Suburbs consisting of a New Zealand refugee centre and some poor struggling types living in million dollar plus hovels only having enough money to buy a slick A1 League team

      It is truly a matter of Goliath v David — The poor Roosters!

    • March 22nd 2018 @ 3:07pm
      bearfax said | March 22nd 2018 @ 3:07pm | ! Report

      Let the war begin. Go the Knights.

    • March 22nd 2018 @ 4:53pm
      Bargeall said | March 22nd 2018 @ 4:53pm | ! Report

      More fake hype to get a crowd – how many people tire of all this and go gardening instead…

    • March 22nd 2018 @ 5:44pm
      Roy said | March 22nd 2018 @ 5:44pm | ! Report

      Hahahaha Pearce NEVER steered the Roosters to a premiership. BTW the Roosters had the best Sydney team crowd aggregate last year.

    • Roar Rookie

      March 22nd 2018 @ 7:43pm
      3_Hats SSTID 2014 said | March 22nd 2018 @ 7:43pm | ! Report

      In 2014 Souths won in Rd 1 then lost 3 in a row so even if Manly do win the Rabbitohs will have no trouble smashing the Puppies.
      So in effect, it will be the same situation.

      Rd 1 calls against the Warriors really did hurt us in the end, a 10 point turnaround just before halftime was crucial.

      Rd 2 that kickoff then blunders by the Refs ruling a Penalty to Penrith instead of a goal-line dropout hurt a bit also.
      14 nil and our backs up, Souths could have easily made it 20 nil then the game was over right there!.

      Not to be but the Rabbitohs are a lot better than 0 and 2.

      At least we haven’t been thrashed by 50 like the Eels have or the Dogs being belted twice by 3 trys or 18.

    • March 23rd 2018 @ 11:42am
      uglykiwi said | March 23rd 2018 @ 11:42am | ! Report

      That second half performance against the Panthers was one of the worst I have ever seen…… Just hopeless. It was just a matter of time before Penrith got to the lead.

      And I think penrith are going terrible…….. Dogs will win 13 plus tonight against them!

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