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The power of the storms hitting parts of Australia seems tame as I deal with a massive man-flu, which could easily take down a small nation if unleashed.
Make no mistake, it was power which also led to Michael Malthouse and Nathan Buckley’s renewed stoush this week. I look forward to 2050 when Buckley finishes scratching his autobiography and we’ll be able to read the whole truth on our Coles Neural-Interface Device™*
(*each device comes with a Coles mini jet-pack)
The round started with Tigers and Cats putting on a display inspired by the State of Origin British Bulldog the previous day. They say modern players lack skills, but I saw plenty of soccer and even some playground marbles skills on display. Flag favourites for sure.
Carlton got a 100 per cent increase in points from the coach-sacking – a bitcoin-esque return. I expect the law of diminishing returns will kick in pretty quickly.
The score review system is like a flu jab. It’s reassuring to have but ultimately useless, and the AFL went full George Orwell this week after another bungle. Within 20 minutes, a never before seen technology was wheeled out for viewers, complete with comedic graphics and commentators at pains to convince us there wasn’t an error. True, but only because there were actually two errors.
The second is the AFL now allegedly have spies in the crowd photographing people and reporting them to the integrity unit for heinous crimes like yelling in the direction of umpires. Integrity. Using spies. Let that sink in.
Earlier in the week, the AFL apologised for their failure in the Adam Goodes fiasco. The coming weeks will see further apologies issued for Carlton’s M&Ms guernsey, Razor Ray, Meatloaf, Channel Seven commentary and their attempts to procure plutonium.
The Eagles looked as composed as Year 8s at a school disco, while Buddy was the kid who rocked up in footy shorts and t-shirt, unwashed hair, and still got all the attention from the girls. Imagine if Bud trained too!?
You may not know this, but Australia has a Queen and yesterday was her birthday.
In typical AFL style, Western Australia were not included in festivities and had to work on Monday. The festivities included people falling into ice water in costumes more poorly planned than a One Nation Party policy and a game of footy, which in a biting piece of social commentary, saw the two richest clubs get just a little bit richer, all in the name of charity.
Only Shane Warne has ever run a dodgier fund-raiser. Quite a few actually, now that I think about it.
Who’s in your ultimate team? Pick the best team and compete with other fans for daily prizes on Draftstars. For the best odds on the game try out Aussie bookmaker PlayUp. Think. Is this a bet you really want to place? Set a deposit limit.