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Opinion

Cricket's funniest partnership names

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Roar Rookie
7th July, 2020
44

As we all know, cricket is a game of partnerships; batting, bowling, even fielding with a throw to the keeper for a runout.

More recently, this has included a flick up by a fielder to a teammate for an outfield throw, as well as an acrobatic mid-air throw from over the boundary to a teammate to complete a catch.

JGK’s Occupational XI had me thinking about names such as Nari Contractor and Farook Engineer and that lead me to combinations of names.

It could go on forever with the sheer volume of players for all countries, but I thought of names which I believed rolled off the tongue as a combination, or were opposites. Not the well-worn Lillee, Willey, Dilley, or more recent Stokes, Woakes, Foakes.

It can be all in the pronunciation; if Scottish Hall of Famer Douglas Barr combined with 80’s Victorian and Hampshire player Shaun Graf, we’d have a useful combination loved by scorers!

There will be no forcing the issue with George Ferris and John Wheeler, or Mitchell Starc – Izzy Gaze, albeit I took a liberty with a couple, but swear Abad Mohammad is known as Abad.

Anyway, I could see commentators like Richie Benaud, Mark Nicholas and David Gower waiting for the right game based opportunity to throw in a dad joke using the names if those players ever combined for a partnership.

I’m sure Gower would’ve loved the opportunity for John Snow to combine with Rychard Field and a tongue in cheek description that the stars aligned for John Southern and David Cross in their match-winning partnership.

I can certainly see Mark Nicholas describing the situation if current Irish international fast bowler Craig Young was being joined by 70’s medium pacer Chris Old with 20 to get from 12 balls.

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Even more fuel if it was a testimonial with 30-year-old Young batting with 70-year-old!

Some more opposites include;
• Peter Sleep – Cameron Wake
• Martin Love – Steve Waugh
• Harry Makepeace – Mark Waugh
• Kenny Day – Everton Weekes
• Ben Cotton – Jordan Silk
• Phil Salt – Charles Pepper

As I said, no forcing it like Andy Flower – Ashleigh Gardner, but we’re fine with Miriam Knee – Tim Paine or Arthur Carr – Elliott Parke.

There are some more interesting two-word phrases;
• Bryce Street – Max Walker
• Alistair Cook – Allan Lamb
• Michael Holding – David Court
• Gladstone Small – Dale Steyn
• Grant Flower – Matty Potts
• Johnnie Clay – Jonathan Potter
• Mark Wynn – Heath Streak
• Doug Ring – Ian Bell
• Elise Good – Bhargav Bhatt
• Chris Green – Dene Hills
• Charlie Brain – Nicholas Trainor
• Allan Knott – Henry Faithful
• Hugh Sells – Curtis Free
• Monty Noble – Collis King
• Marcus North – Sam Northeast
• Tino Best – Reginald Scorer
• John Cotton – Adam Ball
• Henry Sale – Owen Price
• Alastair Maiden – Thomas Bowler
• Ernest Nice – Dunlop Manners
• Peter May – Matthew Day
• Arthur Page – Glenn Turner
• William House – John Deed
• Mark Wood – Joe Burns
• Chris Last – Shai Hope
• Michael Beer – Mike Cann

Just to push my luck and hopefully not slip into Billy Birmingham territory;
• Allan Worthy – Kepler Wessels
• Stuart Clark – Martin Kent
• Abad Mohammad– Shoaib Akhtar

Can’t forget the umpires, can we? I could hear the late Richie Benaud in his understated delivery announcing; “Here come the umpires – Llong, Hair, who will no doubt get more than one disapproving glance from the Lord’s members today”.

Yeah, okay, I went too far, but come on, I didn’t even use Graham Onions!