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It was a summation as brutally succinct as the one English cricket writer Martin Johnson offered of England’s 2006/07 Ashes touring party.
“There are only three things wrong with the English team. They can’t bat, they can’t bowl, and they can’t field,” Johnson wrote.
After witnessing a bumbling performance by Western Force in their Super Rugby Pacific fixture against Melbourne Rebels at HBF Park in Perth on Friday night, former Wallabies centre and Stan analyst Morgan Turinui was similarly scathing.
“There was no discipline. They were down 10-2 penalties. There were some absolutely ridiculous penalties to give away at the breakdown,” he said on Stan Sport.
“Lineout poor. Scrum poor. Somehow – still in the game. Probably even looked more dangerous when they had the ball.”
Indeed they did. And when the Force – who enjoyed a one-man numerical advantage for 30 of the final 45 minutes – held the ball and won their share of penalties, the points began to come.
Alas, they’d given away too many early. And with replacement halfback Joe Powell a cool presence, the Rebels ran out deserved winners 22-21.
Force captain Kyle Godwin said he was “absolutely devastated” by the result in front of a healthy home crowd.
“That one really hurt. Speaking on behalf of the boys that one cut us deep,” Godwin said after the defeat.
Of his decision to go for goal with seven minutes to play and his team down by four points, Godwin said: “a couple of decisions – I have to put my hand up there – we could review in hindsight”.
“It’s a bitter pill to swallow, to be honest. We gave away penalties in the first half and ball security cost us as well.
“We need to take a good hard look at ourselves. It’s definitely not where we need to be.”
Rebels captain Michael Wells said it was a ‘tough win’ that ‘can put a trademark on our season’.
“I couldn’t be prouder of the group. A couple of cards. We just showed resilience in the group. It’s exactly what we’ve been asking for,” Wells said.
From the opening minutes, the Rebels had looked sharp. Matt Toomua set their backline on a free-running movement and polished it with a long, downtown punt that was chased hard by Glen Vaihu, who won a lineout throw 8m out for his team.
A rolling maul and series of crash balls later, and chunky, mobile hooker Jordan Uelese crashed over off a Toomua offload.
Minutes later, Force hooker Andrew Ready was penalised for not rolling away and Toomua slotted the goal for a 10-0 lead.
A strong run by Force winger Manasa Mataele saw the home team force their way into Rebels territory. But further ill-discipline – they were penalised six times in 20 minutes to Melbourne’s one – saw another penalty in front and Toomua made it 13-0 to the visitors.
And if it wasn’t penalties hurting the Force, it was their handling. There were knock-ons in traffic and turnovers at the ruck. There were free kicks at scrum time. It was 70/30 possession to Melbourne.
When referee Damon Murphy awarded Melbourne a scrum penalty and then yellow carded Kane Koteka after another penalty against his team, the ‘Sea of Blue’ was audibly agitated.
Manasa Mataele of the Force runs the ball. (Photo by Paul Kane/Getty Images)
The Force did not lack endeavour – they continued to have a crack. But their execution was repeatedly poor. Until it wasn’t.
Beautiful quick hands found Mataele, the Force man most likely, who leapt into the corner in spectacular fashion, his entire body outside the plane of play, his outstretched hands planting the ball centimetres from the paint.
In the process of several replays, the TMO found a prior head clash and Toomua was sin-binned. If you wanted a turning point, there it was … even if Ian Prior hooked the conversion and Melbourne added a penalty goal on the 40th minute to make it 16-5 at half-time.
Former Wallabies No.12 Tim Horan felt points would come for Western Force if they were patient. Fellow Wallabies old boy Turinui, as per his earlier remarks, felt Horan was ‘being kind’.
With Toomua out for 10, the Force scored in the left-hand corner when Godwin plunged on a bouncing ball after a fine 60m play that featured both wingers and the fullback.
Up 16-10 and 35 minutes to play Reece Hodge had a shot at field goal from right on the 50m line. It seemed a defensive play and Force took plenty from it, attacking in waves.
Super hands, switches, quick hands and forward motion led to local boy Brad Lacey scoring a fine team try. The bumbling boobies of the first half had been replaced by the ‘84 Wallabies, at least briefly.
When Rebels No.12 Ray Nu’u was sent off for a high shot (that TMO types took an age to decide upon) the worm had turned in the west.
And yet, with Powell in control, Andrew Kellaway assured, and Hodge thumping the Gilbert like it were shot out a cannon, the worm turned back towards Melbourne and held firm to minute 80.