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Pele, heaven and a legendary meal

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2nd January, 2023
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When the residents gathered for dinner in the football legends wing of heaven last night, a new face was introduced.

Pele took up his place at the table to much adoration from his fellow diners and ate quietly and respectfully, as was his worldly way. There were a few requests for stories and memories, yet the great man insisted that there would be plenty of time for those in the future. He was more keen to reconnect with some of his friends who he now had the pleasure of spending time with again after years of separation.

Seated alongside Pele was another relatively new resident. Diego Maradona had only recently taken up digs in the fluffy clouds after an extended stay in purgatory before the higher power permitted his entrance. It seems the almighty had not been too pleased with the Argentinian’s hijacking of his name during the aftermath of his controversial goal at the 1986 World Cup.

Without the limitations of language barriers that magically disappear in the metaphysical world, the two footballing geniuses chatted quietly and intently, with every nearby ear keen to capture their secret; some nugget of footballing wisdom that would explain why they were the greatest players of their generations and probably the best to ever play the game.

Diego Maradona

Diego Maradona lifts the 1986 World Cup. (Photo credit STAFF/AFP via Getty Images)

At the foot of the table sat George Best, the Irishman swilling away without fear of ramification and the poor health he had suffered thanks to the chronic alcoholism that controlled his life. Alongside, with cigarette in hand, Johan Cruyff teased the former Manchester United great, citing his three Ballon d’Or awards to Best’s one.

Nearby, Alfredo Di Stefano firmly added that he too should have three Ballon d’Or awards, claiming that but for the presence of Hungarian legend Ferenc Puskás and 1958 winner, Frenchman Raymond Kopa at Real Madrid, he was a deserved awardee in both 1958 and 1960.

Puskás mumbled something about bias and corruption in the voting process for major awards.

The meal traversed the globe. A cracking Spanish paella, Spaghetti cacio e pepe in honour of the Italian guests and a Stamppot that Cruyff was devouring enthusiastically. Looking less pleased were two Englishmen, picking aimlessly at food that was simply far too distant from battered fish and chips or a traditional pudding to be appreciated.

Stoke City and Blackpool legend Stanley Matthews, along with England’s World Cup-winning captain Bobby Moore, rarely enjoyed the meals dished up at the legend dinners and with traditional quindim to be served for dessert in honour of the table’s newest member, it was highly likely that, once again, the two would retire to their rooms for beans on toast when the evening was done.

Gerd Muller took great delight in chuckling at the Englishmen’s rather limited palates, suggesting openly that one day the World Cup might indeed be “coming home”, should English people actually develop the courage to consume food originating from beyond their home shores.

There was a bit of banter back and forth, references to penalty shootouts, world wars and supreme races, before the ‘Galloping Major’ Puskás threw the group a glare and everybody went quiet instantly.

“You are all lucky we are not having Halászlé, none of you could handle it”, enforced Puskás, giving him final say in the discussion.

Whilst every football fan in the world would give the proverbial arm or leg to be seated alongside the men who gather together weekly for a heavenly football meal, not one of us would fit in. Not a word spoken by the illustrious guests could be consumed by mere mortals in the same way they are by peers, men who simply took football to a place far beyond our comprehension and abilities.

We simply cannot understand Maradona and Pele’s genius, Cruyff’s all-encompassing understanding of the game or the leadership and inspirational qualities of men like Puskás and Moore. Nor can we comprehend the goal scoring feats of Di Stefano, Muller and the idiosyncratic freak that was Best.

And that is why they occupy legend status, as humans across the globe bumble away in imitation and respect, obsessed by the men whose mere presence on a football pitch inspired and astonished fans.

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It is a relatively small and elite group and with Pele’s arrival, one reminding us of the delicacy and brevity of life and the need to embrace things before they too, are gone.

Football will continue to produce players worthy of a seat at the table, with Zinedine Zidane, Cristiano Ronaldo and Lionel Messi modern players all destined to share a meal with them one day.

The most wonderful thing about the game, is that we have the privilege of watching the next generation of candidates develop and that each time one like Pele graduates to the football pitch in the sky, another continues to dominate one on Earth.

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