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Opinion
The time has come for the NRL to bring in a themed round to unite the fractured fan bases, divided opinions and mulitcoloured jerseys of various dubious designs.
Drumroll, please … Normal Round.
A week where every team wears their standard jersey, shorts and socks.
A round where beleaguered parents don’t get badgered by their kids to fork out another 160 bucks or more for the new jersey that their team is wearing for whatever reason, good intentioned or otherwise.
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Imagine this – a week where you instantly recognise the team you support and the opposition because they’re dressed in kit that they normally wear.
Raymond Faitala-Mariner is tackled. (Photo by Cameron Spencer/Getty Images)
A one-week respite in the 27 rounds of the season where the focus of attention is on the talents on display, not the latest attempt by clubs to boost merchandise sales.
A brief respite so you don’t walk past a TV and think is that Canterbury playing the Warriors, or are the Cowboys taking on the Knights? Hang on, that’s Canberra’s other outfit.
This is not to say that clubs or the NRL should do away with themed rounds.
Honouring women in league, Indigenous cultures, the Anzac tradition, are all worthy causes and wearing a throwback jersey once every year is an appropriate way to honour a club’s traditions.
But the NRL jumped the shark many years ago with the various uniforms trotted out apropos of nothing.
Gold Coast have outdone themselves by releasing a Magic Round jersey so, according to their official announcement, they “will be bringing the energy of the Gold Coast up the road to Brisbane in Round 10 when they run out in this vibrant jersey” and it “captures iconic elements of Gold Coast living: the sun, the city scape and the surf in a jersey that will stand out from the rest”.
Riiiiiight.
Cronulla wore a heritage jersey from their foundation 1967 era against the Warriors in Round 5. Why exactly was this seemingly random match chosen?
Pop quiz, hotshot. Was it to …
Braden Hamlin-Uele is rounded up by Marata Niukore. (Photo by Mark Kolbe/Getty Images)
Most teams lined up in five or six outfits last season – their main, an alternate or two, plus an Anzac, Indigenous and some kind of heritage jersey, not to mention the Community, Women in League and Manly’s attempt at an “inclusivity jersey” which imploded when seven boycotting players chose “cultural beliefs” over equality.
It’s even more complicated for a merged team like Cronulla’s neighbours, St George Illawarra when it comes to jersey splurges.
Last year, apart from their iconic Red V strip which was worn in one trial and 15 NRL matches, they trotted out …
A Charity Shield jersey emblazoned with the names of St George Illawarra players who had lined up for the annual clash with Souths (a real collector’s item, that one);
The predominantly red alternative hodgepodge which is neither a tribute to the Steelers or St George was worn five times;
Glenn Stewart and Brett Stewart in the infamous Manly kit from 2012. (Photo by Mark Nolan/Getty Images)
The Anzac Day jersey for the annual clash with the Roosters (fair enough);
An Indigenous Round uniform once at Belmore and another time at Wollongong;
The Steelers version (the “joint venture” usually throws Illawarra a bone once a year even though the Saints strip is worn most weeks).
How about teams use their heritage strip as one of their designated alternate jerseys, or their Indigenous or Women In League Round designs more than once to prove it’s not just a token gesture once a year.
Lessons have been learned along the way.
You would hope the Wests Tigers learned a valuable one this week by remembering to double-check whether an image is of an Australian or New Zealand soldier for an Anzac jersey.
The Sea Eagles look like they won’t go down the path of a rainbow-themed jersey again as the idea for a Pride Round was tossed into the too-hard basket by the NRL with the ridiculous notion of a Respect Round barfed up as an alternative to supposedly please everyone.
Manly have a chequered history with alternate strips – they wore a blue and gold uniform in 2014 as part of an NRL promotion with Marvel. They couldn’t have looked more like their bitter rivals Parramatta if they tried.
The Manly Sea Eels (in blue and gold) celebrate a try against the Brisbane Sea Broncos (in maroon and white) in 2014 at Brookvale, Queensland. (Photo by Brendon Thorne/Getty Images)
To add to the stupidity of it all they took on a Brisbane side at Brookvale with the Broncos looking very Manly draped mainly in maroon and white.
And then there was their 2012 attempt to honour the Anzacs, which was not in the ballpark of the Wests Tigers’ recent bungle, but the brown camouflage ensemble is on the podium for crappiest designs for any sports team.
The jersey mix and match is by no means just restricted to the NRL as professional sports leagues all over the planet come up with weird and wonderful ways to dress their players.
Bring on Normal Round where confusion over who’s who in the zoo is put on pause for a week of serenity. That’s a theme everyone can surely support.