There’s more stats than ever in rugby league, and every player can point to what they’re good at.
Some love to cite tries scored or assisted, while others excel in the less glamourous areas of the game, like tackles and metres.
Last year, we took the path less travelled and found those who were statistical unicorns, players who were uniquely good at one specific thing – indeed, we made a whole team of them.
A statistical unicorn, since you are asking, is something that is thought to be widespread but actually occur infrequently or never, which is why The Unicorns XIII was created – to honour those exceptionally good in unlikely ways.
With another year’s worth of footy almost in the books, it’s time to return to pick the 2023 class. There’s a few huge names in there, but remember – this isn’t always about them.
It’s about the toilers who get through so much unseen grunt work that only the numbers pick it up, and the otherwise average footballers who are unbelievable at one specific part of the game.
Meet The Unicorns, 2023 edition.
(Photo by Jason McCawley/Getty Images)
Ah, Tommy T. Manly Corso 100m dash runner up, hamstrings like Cheesestrings, misses every second game through injury.
There’s a lot of people out there gunning for Tom Trbojevic, but they sleep on him as a player.
There are people with a straight face who go on television and advocate for Dylan Edwards as a better fullback because of run metres or something, when literally the world’s best fullback (sorry, Teddy, but it’s true these days) is playing right in front of them and they’re saying he’s injured.
Sure, Turbo does get injured a fair bit, but when he’s there…it’s not really an argument. If you want an Edwards-style runner, Tommy is second behind him – and he does it for Manly, who are a lot worse than Penrith.
If you want a creative fullback, he’s got the most line break assists per touch of any in the NRL, ranking sixth in total LBAs despite playing just 11 games all year. Latrell has just one more in five more games and Clint Gutherson has three more twice as many games.
Only Kalyn Ponga and Reece Walsh are better in attack on a per game basis, and neither do anything like the yardage work that Tommy does.
Holding his position for a second season is Greg Marzhew, who remains the platonic ideal of a head-down-arse-up winger, doing bulk work like a prop forward but also on the wing.
His metres-per-run stats remain insane, as do his tackle busts, which are full two-per-game ahead of anyone else in the NRL.
He’s gone mainstream now – this time last year, he could barely get into the Titans team – and everyone appreciates his talents, but The Unicorns have loved him for a long time. We want our statistical weirdos to be weird, and just because other people have noticed, it doesn’t make it less so.
Less celebrated is Manly speedster Jason Saab – indeed, he has been much maligned at times, with plenty of observers (including your columnist) calling him out for poor kick returns, lack of elusiveness in running and generally having completely wrong body shape for set starts.
Yet Saab, who missed the end of last year with an ACL, has become a totally different player.
He bulked up, which helps, but has now added a ruthless touch to his pace. He’s always had topline speed, but now adds a whole heap of composure, regularly making the right decision in space to turn line breaks into tries.
Try assists are a pretty limited stat, but Saab is top of the pile among those only to have played winger, edging out fellow speedster Alofiana Khan-Pereira.
The stats back the eye test, which is that Saab has been superb at using his pace to get around the outside, before dumping back in to support players. He’s a creative winger now, and there’s not many of them about.
Kotoni Staggs scores. (Photo by Bradley Kanaris/Getty Images)
Also retaining his spot from 2022 is Broncos centre Kotoni Staggs, and it’s for the same reason: he remains the best one-on-one tackler in the game, absolutely dominating the competition when it comes to hitting and sticking.
As more and more sides use a ball-playing lock, the ability to fly out of the line and jam the half is becoming more crucial – and there’s nobody better at it than Staggs.
The Broncos have actually built a defensive system around, with the winger often holding and the centre going, so confident are they that their man will make iit.
Staying in The Unicorns but moving position – as he has at club level – is the offload king, Jacob Kiraz.
He remains well top of backs for getting the arm free, exactly the sort of unique superskill this team was dreamed up to reward.
The Sharks have dallied on their number six all year, eventually cutting their losses with Matt Moylan and giving the jumper to Braydon Trindall. One could argue that he is a halfback in five eighth’s clothing – and that Nicho Hynes is doing the opposite – and one of the strongest stats to back that up is his kicking.
Trindall is a master of the 40/20, second only to Reed Mahoney in total numbers and way, way ahead on a per game basis, averaging one every three games. The next best is Luke Brooks, on one every five games.
So what, you might say, he’s really a halfback: except in the NSW Cup, where Trindall played in the 7 for Newtown, he didn’t kick a single one. It’s really a five eighth thing for him.
Anyone who has been watching Canberra closely this year will be able to guess their unicorn: halfback Jamal Fogarty, owner of the NRL’s magic boot.
His kick try assists have essentially carried the team in 2023, with 12 in the books, not including multiple for himself. Indeed, Fogarty has provided somewhere in the region of 20% of all the tries that the Raiders have scored this year just via his kicking.
It’s a bonkers state of affairs, but it’s keeping the Raiders in finals contention.
(Photo by Cameron Spencer/Getty Images)
This entire concept was made for Jake Trbojevic, and it’s a case of working out which particular category gets him in.
He’s the NRL’s least effective runner, averaging just seven metres per run, backing up a stellar season of ineffectiveness with the footy that lead to him ending 2022 with just one tackle break – though he did score on the back of it.
That side has improved, with four this year (166 runs, still the worst ratio in the comp for regular ball-carriers) but let’s not focus on the negatives: Jurbo gets in for his work ethic.
Only Dylan Edwards has run more supports per game in 2023, which is astounding given that Jake doesn’t always play a full 80 minutes, meaning that his per-minute score far outstrips anyone else.
One of the greatest things you can ask for in a middle is being around the footy, pushing up, offering options and being there to catch an offload or drop on a loose ball. It’s all about effort, and naturally, that’s where Jurbo wins out. Oh, and he’s still a top ten tackler across the whole year.
Joining him in our workhorse front row will be Josh King, the decoy master. No player has offered themselves for work, but not got the footy, as often as the Melbourne middle.
He’s put in almost a decoy run a game more than anyone else, selflessly creating deception and space for everyone else – Cam Munster should be shouting him all the drinks on Mad Monday.
Running hookers are overrated, so we want a guy who loves to stand and dish. Look no further than Jake Turpin, who has made his lack of deception an art form.
The Roosters rake has been used in rotation with Brandon Smith, who loves a run, but when Jake is on the field, there’s none of that.
His pass per run ratio is a massive 48.4 – more than anyone else in the NRL and over ten more than the next guy, Josh Hodgson, and nearly 20 more than the next after him, Phoenix Crossland.
It’s even funnier because the Cheese is down at 10 passes per run which, even accounting for a little time spent as a middle, means that the Roosters start halves five times more likely to pass than they end them.
If you’re looking for a guy to get you the ball back when you’re on defence, look no further than Hudson Young.
The Raiders backrower leads the league in two key statistical categories that regard: he’s the one-on-one steal master and the forced turnover king.
Cameron Munster is seen as the best at reefing the ball out – unless you’re old enough to remember Gavin ‘the pinch’ Clinch – but he has just one all year, whereas Young has five.
Forced turnovers, where a player causes an error by the opposition, are also a forte – and one wonders how many were strong tackles and how many were Young having a go at the ball and getting away with it.
Shaun Lane isn’t bad in this area either, but in a different way. As you might expect from one of the NRL’s tallest players, he’s top of the comp for kick charge downs.
Fans can debate whether that’s a good thing or not – how often does charging it down result in getting the ball back? – but it’s undeniable that Lane has a superpower for getting into kickers’ faces, then getting hit by the footy himself.
(Photo by Cameron Spencer/Getty Images)
J’maine Hopgood has burst onto the NRL scene this year after being a standout in NSW Cup, and it’s really a case of picking which part of his game makes him most worthy of the Unicorns jumper.
There’s the eye-catching stuff, like the offloads – Hopgood is top for that – or the less flashy, like boring old one-man hit ups, which he’s fourth for, but behind only front-rowers in Addin Fonua-Blake, Payne Haas and Joseph Tapine.
Every team needs a utility, and our bench hooker, retaining a spot from last year, is Siliva Havili.
The Souths wrecking ball is both a 9 and a forward, and a statistical freak, with the fastest play the ball of any decent sample-size player at 3 seconds flat.
There’s no doubt that Cam McInnes gets in too, if only for that afternoon in Penrith where he rattled through 81 tackles – or something like it, depending on your stats provider.
We’ve rewarded decoy runners, but they are only half of the story: what about decoy passes?
Ben Hunt is a huge outlier here and thus our perfect unicorn, faking nearly 30 times more than his Queensland teammate Munster and 40 times more than NSW opponent Nathan Cleary.
Last but not least is the non-decoy, non-dummy, no nonsense, up-the-jumper champion: Daniel Suluka-Fifita. The Souths prop has managed 93 touches of the footy and a grand total of one single pass.
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