Amidst the multiculturalism which makes our wonderful country so diverse, the religious identity of Australia is vague and ambiguous. No, it’s not. We practice Sportolocism.
Sitting in ‘Art and the Politics of Censorship’ class, we we’re discussing blasphemy and assessing whether individuals found certain ideas or practices offensive.
Unsurprisingly, there were no unanimous reactions of religious offence.
The 2006 census statistics summarise Australia’s three main affiliations as Roman Catholic (26%), Anglican (19%) and No Religion (19%).
Besides those who failed to answer the question (12%), the next largest religion was Uniting Church (6%).
When we compare Australia to countries with a stronger ethnic or nationalist identity, nations like India, China and Brazil, religion is a significant identifier of culture and association.
In Australia, however, with 26% Roman Catholic holding the majority affiliation, I believe Australia’s population of 21 million are majority Sportolocists.
Without being too technical, I define a Sportolocist as an individual who follows a sport, a sporting team or even a player closer than any of the major affiliations.
Like all other religions, Sportolocism is bound by a set of common values promoting fair competition and entertainment. Our bible is the laws to the game.
Our sacrifices are everything we give up to will our team on.
We live with our sport at the back of our minds, day in day out. We pray for team success.
Religion is paved with history and stories of origin and Sportolocism is no different.
Who will ever forget Diego Maradona’s hand of god (no pun intended) goal in the 1986 World Cup quarter-finals? Will Jesse Owen’s Aryan-supremacy defying four gold medals at the 1936 Berlin Olympics ever be forgotten?
Babe Ruth, Wayne Gretsky, Michael Jordan and Pelé? All are legends of their sporting codes, none of which I follow closely but recognise their excellence and legendary status.
These defining moments and people are a special part of our history because they provide us with a link to the past.
Supernatural powers and events are commonly celebrated within religions, as most recently with the Easter weekend.
Not being anymore than a Sportolocist, I did not fast, feast or use the day as an excuse to consume chocolate. I sat back and enjoyed one of the greatest rounds of AFL in recent history.
Ending the week with the NFL draft was only a holy bonus. No, I don’t go for the Saints.
Perhaps the resurrections of Brett Favre or Michael Schumacher may warrant Sportolocism holidays or awards named in their honour. Sportolocism is much more evident than we perceive.
How often do we see free-kicks awarded only for the recipient unable to capitalise on such luck. In AFL, we call this the work of the ‘Football Gods’. With their omnipotent presence overlooking every game, they award those respectful of fair competition and punish the disobedient.
As far as the theory of evolution goes, a radicalist of our ‘in the spirit of completion’ belief would argue 32 men and 32 women woke up on a large patch of grass and fought to the death in a tournament bracket, until there were only one of each – thus ensuing future generations only possess the most athletic, talented and competitive genes available to mankind.
This uncanny resemblance of values, stories and identities compared to historically established affiliations draws me to believe that Sportolocism may be our dominant faith.
Drawn together by our love for sport and sporting success, surpassing 26% of the population would make Sportolocism Australia’s dominant affiliation.
Sp do you have faith in Sportolocism?
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