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Confronting my Ashes anguish

Roar Pro
21st July, 2009
14

I’m normally disappointed when Australia loses a Test match, but when England took the last wicket on Monday night, TV remotes started to fly! Gutted was the right word to describe what I was feeling.

Seeing that I was thousands of kilometres away watching from the comfort of my living room rather than actually wearing the Baggy Green, I have been trying to work out why the disappointment tasted so bitter after this loss.

So as is generally the case with such raw emotions, it is best not to dwell on them too much but rather vent and let the truth come out.

As such, here are some of the reasons why I am down one Foxtel remote:

1. At the very least, the series should be 1-1 as Australia should have won in Cardiff – plain and simple. It equates to the 12 point turnaround in rugby league if you give up an intercept try as you are trying to attack the opponent’s line. Australia now have to play catch up, which isn’t out of the realms of possibility, but will no doubt cause me an ulcer.

2. Hasn’t Australia’s top order learnt by now that playing your natural game is fine but you have to be adaptable and play as the game and conditions dictate? If Australia learned anything from 2005 it should have been that blasting one’s way out of trouble may have worked for Han Solo getting out of the Death Star but not for Australian batsmen on English pitches. We saw what happens when they took their time and played to the tempo of the pitch and the game in Cardiff. Unfortunately, we saw at Lords what happens when they don’t.

3. I apologise in advance for the ringing in your ears that you are hearing as you read this piece. It is just me repeating the fact that Australia needs to take twenty wickets to win Test matches and, as such, they need to have the bowling attack to do it. As has been well documented, Mitchell Johnson is the weak link. He is not performing to the high standards that he set in the home and away series against South Africa. Tragically, his bowling has been about as cringeworthy as the public disagreement between his mother and his girlfriend. The Captain has a vital decision to make for Edgbaston as it will decide whether Australia can peg back the series deficit.

4. Admittedly, I ignored the long standing advice from Public Enemy and I believed the hype. In reality, Australia were no chance on Monday night, but after listening to the combination of experts from Fox Sports, SBS, BBC and Sky Sports UK, I was convinced that we were a chance of winning. Consequently, the obscenities that came out of my mouth when Michael Clarke was bowled had cause for the neighbours to rush in and see if all was ok. Seeing me in the foetal position told them that all was not well.

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5. There is a certain smugness that has come over the English team, epitomised by one Graeme Swann. I don’t like him. In fact, it is turning into a very strong hatred for the man and it is driving me to distraction. One could argue that England is merely giving back what they have copped over many years by Australian teams and supporters. But to be honest, I don’t care. I don’t like it. I don’t like Swann and I want him destroyed in the next Test.

Thank you. I feel better now.

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