A formidable international team can be formed from the TV commentators or Ashes experts on SBS and Foxtel channels: Michael Atherton, David Lloyd, Damien Martyn, Mark Waugh, Allan Border, Nasser Hussain, Ian Botham, Greg Matthews, Shane Warne, Stuart MacGill, Brendon Julian, Damien Fleming, Michael Holding and Rodney Hogg.
The first six are classy batsmen. Botham’s the legendary all-rounder, with two mighty leggies in Warne and MacGill. Greg Matthews is the off-spinner who can bat, and Holding, Hogg, Fleming and Julian are quickies.
Add to these 14 the Roar’s fast bowler Geoff ‘Henry’ Lawson and we have a squad of Famous Fifteen.
There’s not much that I can add on the Leeds Test that the 14 ex-internationals have not dissected and analysed in 3-D detail.
Instead, let me present colorful headlines sub-editors come out with flair and panache. This was inspired by Friday’s beauty in The Sydney Morning Herald (SMH):
“Unlikely hero Onions out to fry more Australians” .
Well, it turned out horribly wrong for England as they were roasted by Clark and Siddles on the opening day of the Leeds Test.
More like routed, scythed, bamboozled!
Do you remember these golden oldies (either newspaper headlines or posters held by spectators at the grounds)? :
BLEAK FORECAST – NO RAIN, MORE SNOW (on the morning of the final day of the January 1971 Sydney Test when English quickie John Snow went on to capture 7-40 and Australia lost by 299 runs).
AUSSIE SELECTORS CAN’T PICK LAWRY’S NOSE. (A poster at the SCG when Peter “Who” Taylor was selected out of nowhere for the January 1987 Test against England).
EVERYONE GOT TURKEY FOR CHRISTMAS, OUR GREG GOT FOUR DUCKS. (A poster at the SCG after Greg Chappell was dismissed for another duck in the January 1982 Test against the West Indies).
R.I.P. THE WORLD, NO LILLIES BY REQUEST. (After the then rookie Dennis Lillee, 8-29, dismissed the Garry Sobers-led star-studded World XI for 59 in the Perth International in December 1971).
BORDER’S DAY IS CURTLY CURTAILED (a SMH headline when Allan Border, playing his 100th Test, was bowled for a duck by the tall Windies express Curtly Ambrose on the MCG on Boxing Day 1988). A caption under Border’s pic read: “Duck of the Century”.
THE ULTIMATE WAUGH WOUND. (Greg Baum in the SMH after the injured Steve Waugh hit centuries in both innings of the July 1997 Manchester Test).
QUEENSLAND – BEAUTIFUL ONE DAY, ALL OUT FOR 75 THE NEXT. (After the 1992-93 Sheffield Shield final on the SCG).
AUSTRALIA HELD IN VOCE-LIKE GRIP (No, not the 2009 Lord’s Test but way back in the 1936 Brisbane Test when England’s fast bowler Bill Voce took 6-41).
HOW VERY disaPONTING (in SMH of 21 October, 2008 after Australia lost the second Test to India in Mohali by 320 runs, Ricky Ponting scoring 5 and 2).
Finally, here is one by me in the liner notes of the recently released cricket CD: Stumped – Songs we love about cricket (SBS, Universal Records):
In the 2004 Birmingham Test, England’s opener Andrew STRAUSS played off-KEY [Robert] as the West Indian Dwayne BRAVO applauded by taking four wickets.
Hope Neville Cardus, who loved both cricket and classical music with passion, was alive to commentate on this musical Test.
Over to you, Roarers!
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